Suppo: I didnt read your post yet, but im headed there now. And I agree with you about kids, they get caught up in adult stuff and shouldnt have to deal with it.
MrsD: Unfortunately we lost yesterday, we're now 0-2 but we've been right there in both games, just seem to make an untimely mistake that costs us the game. The boys are still playing hard and really have great attitudes even though we've lost both our games b/c they are old enough to understand that if just one or two plays go a different way then we win them both.
Dang I tried to GAL this weekend and it simply didnt work out too well for me. I did have a good time Friday night when I took my son and 3 of his friends to a movie so at least I had one good day. The rest of the weekend I simply dwelled way to much on my sitch and I know better. Im thinking about her and she's thinking about her so no one is thinking of me.
Then I woke up this morning trying to start a new week and have a better attitude and all I can seem to think about is whether or not she wore her wedding ring to work today. I absolutely hate the thought that she might not be wearing it anymore since she finally took it off......and I actually hate that I think/worry about that. How does that matter to me at all? Im a better person than I was 11 weeks ago, im happier, healthier and I smile and laugh with my friends more.
I love my wife, and I believe in marriage and forgiveness, but im also starting to understand that at least part of what is bothering me is my own insecurities about being alone. My wife is gorgeous.....in my football parlance lets say that when i married her i outkicked my coverage. Im the guy that walks in the room with the girl and everyone goes how the heck did that happen. And not only is she gorgeous shes absolutely an incredible person....she's not really showing that right now with her actions, but at least until now in our marriage she has always been someone that i was so proud to say was my wife because of her character.
So now im faced with two realities: #1 I may not ever have her again and must move on. #2 I'll be alone for the first time in 15 years and it scares the crap out of me. Since I was 15 i've been in a relationship almost continually and quite honestly I suck at being alone. Im a social person and need that daily interaction, I need to care about someone and have someone care about me. Crap I just said need and somehow gotta get over that...but want is surely true. And then my insecurities creep in and tell me that I won't be able to find anyone that would want me.....and if I do i'll have to settle because no one with her qualities would be interested.
Guess I finally put it out there, lets see if I can get past it now.
Dang I tried to GAL this weekend and it simply didnt work out too well for me. I did have a good time Friday night when I took my son and 3 of his friends to a movie so at least I had one good day. The rest of the weekend I simply dwelled way to much on my sitch and I know better. Im thinking about her and she's thinking about her so no one is thinking of me.
Then I woke up this morning trying to start a new week and have a better attitude and all I can seem to think about is whether or not she wore her wedding ring to work today. I absolutely hate the thought that she might not be wearing it anymore since she finally took it off......and I actually hate that I think/worry about that. How does that matter to me at all? Im a better person than I was 11 weeks ago, im happier, healthier and I smile and laugh with my friends more.
I love my wife, and I believe in marriage and forgiveness, but im also starting to understand that at least part of what is bothering me is my own insecurities about being alone. My wife is gorgeous.....in my football parlance lets say that when i married her i outkicked my coverage. Im the guy that walks in the room with the girl and everyone goes how the heck did that happen. And not only is she gorgeous shes absolutely an incredible person....she's not really showing that right now with her actions, but at least until now in our marriage she has always been someone that i was so proud to say was my wife because of her character.
So now im faced with two realities: #1 I may not ever have her again and must move on. #2 I'll be alone for the first time in 15 years and it scares the crap out of me. Since I was 15 i've been in a relationship almost continually and quite honestly I suck at being alone. Im a social person and need that daily interaction, I need to care about someone and have someone care about me. Crap I just said need and somehow gotta get over that...but want is surely true. And then my insecurities creep in and tell me that I won't be able to find anyone that would want me.....and if I do i'll have to settle because no one with her qualities would be interested.
Guess I finally put it out there, lets see if I can get past it now.
Well you know those insecurities are a bunch of hogwash. When you get more comfortable with yourself, you will realize that you did it before, and you will do it again, even better.
I'm not sure it's a prerequisite that you need to know how to be a stellar single and be great to be alone to be a great relationship partner, but you always hear that.
What I am going to say, is since you are going to be alone for a while, to get used to it and learn to be good at it. Take good care of yourself, and your time alone will provide you a place for reflection and enough peace to be totally aware of yourself and any interactions. Learn to be alone without being lonely.
I hate to tell you this Carnac because someone might refer me to it later.
I was married once before and when my 1st W left me (yes, this is beginning to look like a pattern and this is why I'm so serious about working on ME), I was devastated and thought just as you did now. The thing is, in the years that have passed, since I met my current W, I have looked at my 1st W leaving me as a blessing.
Now only because my present W outshone my 1st W (this may seem true but it's not fair on 1st W) but she helped me redefine what I wanted in a life partner and made me look at life in a whole different way. This is why I'm here now, fighting for her but the point of this is, it's a big world and there area many people in it. The odds that out of 6 billion people, you met THE only one for you are very slim. Hell, even in your city of XXXXXX population there are many women who would rewrite what your concept of a life partner is.
Nonetheless, I think it's a bit too early to start talking about finding someone else. Don't we all have marriages to save? Selves to better? Families to patch up? Back to work Freshmen!!!
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Thanks Arsene......certainly im not looking for anyone new, simply sharing my insecurities. Its simply been a rough weekend for me and with my election looming in 2 weeks...the rumor that she's going to file after the election...and her not wearing her ring on Saturday it has seemed as though bullets were coming from every direction and got me down pretty badly. And my son stayed with me all week last week, but hasn't been back since Saturday and I miss him as well.
But your right.....none of this is helping ME in any way, nor is it getting me any closer to saving my marriage so time to put my boots back on and get to work on improving myself so that I can be a positive change in my marriage.
Month 4 for me since D-Day. I understand and I kind of feel the same way about my sitch. I spent way too much too time this weekend thinking about H and he spent most of his time thinking of ways to get out of the house and away from me. I didn't do a very good job of DB this weekend but today is a new day and I plan on pressing forward. We can do this.
Thanks Arsene......certainly im not looking for anyone new, simply sharing my insecurities. Its simply been a rough weekend for me and with my election looming in 2 weeks...the rumor that she's going to file after the election...and her not wearing her ring on Saturday it has seemed as though bullets were coming from every direction and got me down pretty badly. And my son stayed with me all week last week, but hasn't been back since Saturday and I miss him as well.
But your right.....none of this is helping ME in any way, nor is it getting me any closer to saving my marriage so time to put my boots back on and get to work on improving myself so that I can be a positive change in my marriage.
Get ready world......IM BACK LOL
Definitely been a very profound weekend so to speak for all of us Freshman! I truly feel for everyone & am trying to regain my PMA, so that I can become the cheerleader you all have come to love on this site. Stick with it, even if you don't want to. I know we all want our W's back & that our lives have been turned upside down, but this is where the Lord expects us to dig deep and do what is right...Which is to fight for our One Flesh Covenant M!!!
Easier said than done, as the light seems so far at the other side of the tunnel right now.
I for one would like to get off of this Fricken Son of A Beeping Roller Coaster! How about anyone else? Heck, I don't even like Fricken Roller Coasters
I will say that I take inspiration from MrsD because she is divorced and still standing for her marriage. I think the world needs more people willing to do that.
So now im faced with two realities: #1 I may not ever have her again and must move on. #2 I'll be alone for the first time in 15 years and it scares the crap out of me. Since I was 15 i've been in a relationship almost continually and quite honestly I suck at being alone. Im a social person and need that daily interaction, I need to care about someone and have someone care about me. Crap I just said need and somehow gotta get over that...but want is surely true. And then my insecurities creep in and tell me that I won't be able to find anyone that would want me.....and if I do i'll have to settle because no one with her qualities would be interested.
Im so there with you. But at the same time - I dont WANT anyone other than my X. Shoot - I dont even have any advise for you because Im so there with you. And maybe I dont really miss being with anyone - I miss being with X. Bottom line.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
I will say that I take inspiration from MrsD because she is divorced and still standing for her marriage. I think the world needs more people willing to do that.
Carnac!! You have made me cry twice now today!! I believe it what we had. And I want it back, but better. I still believe we have a connection that can take us ultimately through anything. Or maybe Im just a fool. Maybe everything that I though we had was fake.
Either or - thank you for the kind words my friend. They really mean alot to me. Especially today.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
