Why would H want to sleep on the couch (on purpose)? Does he not like the bed? Does he have back problems? Is the temperature in the bedroom not what he likes?
Why would H want to sleep on the couch (on purpose)? Does he not like the bed? Does he have back problems? Is the temperature in the bedroom not what he likes?
Before BD, whenever we would have a really bad argument, he would retreat to the couch as punishment I guess. After BD, he slept on the couch for like a month straight, then slowly made his way back to sleeping in the bed.
The temperature in the room is a problem for both of us. But we have a fan in case it gets too warm, even with the A/C on. Sometimes he'll stay up really late and according to him fall asleep on the couch, and just stay there. I normally would say something to him about it, so I'm sure that's where his statement came from.
If I'm honest, when I say something to him about sleeping on the couch, I would say I'm projecting my own fear that he's sleeping on the couch because of OW and doesn't want to sleep with me.
I totally get where you're coming from, and I would think and react the exact same way as you (including the projecting). Because that's what we're used to.
The reason I was asking those questions is that maybe there is a better explanation for H sleeping on the couch. My H used to complain about the bed being uncomfortable and used to say that he slept much better on the couch. Or on some nights (recently) when it was really hot and humid and we didn't have the AC going in the bedroom because I don't like to sleep with it on, I have woken up in the middle of the night to find him asleep on the couch in the living room with the AC blowing (even though I told him that if he's really uncomfortable, then he can turn the AC on in the bedroom, it's not like I was forbidding it).
Spouses who sleep on the couch irk me. And reading your H and CES's W do that - though likely for different reasons - brought up my feelings of frustration when H was doing the flip flopping. I used to hate it when he'd sleep in bed one night, and then on the couch the next for no apparent reason (other than him not wanting to be close to me). So the flip flopping really ticked me off.
Sorry for going off on a tangent about the couch. The fact that he told you that it had nothing to do with him wanting to be away from you is good. I don't think he'd say anything if that wasn't true. So quit the projecting!
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
H and I had dinner last night at Ruth's Chris for DC Restaurant Week. H loves steak, but had never been because it's kind of expensive. I had never been because I'm not really a steak eater. So it was mostly a treat for him.
During DC Restaurant Week, the participating restaurants offer 3-course lunches for $20.12 and 3-course dinners for $35.12. So he basically got to eat a salad, entree, and dessert for less than the price of what one steak would have cost. We normally do at least one restaurant during this week. Ordinarily, we would not have gone to a steakhouse because I often have a hard time finding something I like to eat. But I figured this could count as fostering goodwill when I get to heaven, so to Ruth's Chris we went. LOL
We ended up having a pretty good time. The food was GREAT! There were a few lulls in the conversation, but overall, a much better experience that some of the other dinners we had pre-BD & after. And H only took his phone out a couple of times when we were trying to contact SS (my phone was dead). H thanked me like 3 times last night, and a bunch this morning for dinner last night. I just said you're welcome.
H is headed to NC this weekend to see SS. There's some issues going on with his college stuff that needs to be straightened out. Things we thought SS' mother was taking care of. I'll just say hopefully by Monday, SS will actually be a freshman in college. Right now it's not looking so good. :-(
H feels really bad about this whole college thing and is taking it very personal. He kept saying last night that "he" needed to fix this. So I had a conversation with him, explaining that I felt like he was intentionally leaving me out of the whole thing. I said that while I'm sure he didn't mean it that way, that's what I was hearing when he kept saying "he" needed to do this or "he" was going to do that. He told me that was not the case, and of course he wants me involved.
He also got up this morning to walk me to the door when I got ready to leave for work. He used to do this every day when he first moved here in. Lately he would just roll over, give me a kiss, and roll back over when I said I was leaving.
I just know I'm looking forward to getting some rest in a quiet house this weekend. I could really use that. I intend to go see the movie "Sparkle" this weekend as well as go to my neice's birthday party on Sunday, at a local water park. All very relaxing. ;-)
You can always just bring your friends down to Alabama and go boating with me and my friends this weekend! LOL
Let's see...what's on the agenda... Anchoring and then floating for a bit. Tubing Water skiing Wakeboarding Then back to anchoring and floating/swimming!
