Just read this it made me laugh: By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. ~ Socrates
When H came a few weeks ago (a month ago? I don't even remember) we were out in the garage and I picked up a poster that I'd forgotten I had. I had started looking for poster frames to put it up and today I decided to put it up with out the frame maybe I'll buy a frame in the future maybe not. Then I found a poster S had bought me for Christmas. It's just a funny poster and it was still in the tube again a I'll wait until I have a frame.
And so I realised how much of my life did I stop enjoying things because I was saving them until the conditions were right or until I though I deserved it. So then I ran around putting all sorts of things up.
And here's a tip for all you newly single girls out there..a wedge wooden heel makes a great substitute for a hammer. I don't know if SD would approve but there's my HandyWoman tip of the day! LOL
Another thing I did was look into yoga classes. There's one starting in a month's time and I want to join that. And last night I was thinking it's shame that it costs so much to get to one in the meantime, or they don't fit my schedule etc and then I realised I could go on YouTube I bet there's some videos there I could use in the meantime. And I noticed that a local college has cookery courses and I thought oh I'd love to do that but I bet it's expensive and immediately I thought there's nothing stopping you from going online and trying new recipes. And I am so happy that this me is back then one that doesn't say I wish...but says you still can just in another way.
And so I realised how much of my life did I stop enjoying things because I was saving them until the conditions were right or until I though I deserved it. So then I ran around putting all sorts of things up.
Raising my hand here.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
oh gosh Brit - there you go again articulating the stages of our process
i'm just emerging too, to find out that i left everything on hold, "waiting for the right conditions" - and now, i just simply don't have to.
as for cooking - i'll help you out on that -i used to be a chef
and yes - there are great DVD's and on-line videos for yoga - they are more advanced, often, but if you google free beginners yoga videos i'm sure you'll find something to get you started
((( ))) zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
Of course you used to be a chef! How could I forget after the amazing grande chef! I'm keen to learn more Thai and Indian. Also an receipe for American southern biscuits. Cheers!
And so I realised how much of my life did I stop enjoying things because I was saving them until the conditions were right or until I though I deserved it. So then I ran around putting all sorts of things up.
I told you guys on Saturday that I texted H about doing a clear out and did he want anything from the house. He said "not off the top of my head but I can swing by later this week if you'd like" I replied and said "no worries I'll let you know once I've gone through stuff and let you know what's in there you can have first pick"
Today I texted him to remind him he promised to do something regarding S...just to make sure it was in his calendar. (H is forgetful LOL) he said oh I don't have it in my calendar but I do now. what time? I told him and said I would email him with the info and he replied I'll stop by tomorrow night after work and we can sort it out.
?????
So I told him Saturday no he didn't have to come over and now he's invited himself over (notice there's no "if you like" tacked on) to talk about something that doesn't need talked about.
This upsets me. I'm on the blanket. I'm happy. I don't even think he realises he's doing it not consciously. He has a pattern of every time one of us steps away I go out of town, he goes out of town with her he has to see me. I told Cheryl the DB coach it's like he says oh I've spent x amount of time away I've got to check in and she said of course he wants to check in. He wants to come home.
It made me angry then. Then I thought whatever but now I'm angry again. Because it's not equitable. He doesn't tell me about his life. He had a freakin MRI people and he didn't tell me when it happened or how it went. He texts me sometimes when he's drunk with her but if I text him sometimes he doesn't reply for two days and then says sorry I was busy. He wants me to be there, and he wants to be the one to say I'm so proud of you Brit. I'm connecting at this important moment but he doesn't let me in his life. I don't like the power thing happening here.
If we're friends it has to go both ways.
Part of me thinks you hurt this man A LOT. He "says" he never loved anyone before you. He says you're his best friend. That no one will ever know him like me and vice versa. So maybe he's protecting himself. Enough to keep himself FROM you but he still wants you in his life.
And then another part of me says DON'T BELIEVE ANY OF WHAT THEY SAY AND HALF OF WHAT THEY DO. And I think if you're my best friend then freakin make plans to see me, call me every now and then, tell me about your life, text me not just during working hours. That makes me feel like the other woman.
And so I'm teetering on do I say something. Do I say look I want to be your friend, you want to be my friend, I like being around you when we aren't passive aggressive and hurting one another. Can we be grown up and be friends? I don't know what kind of pressure you're getting from the old GF (and to be honest if I were her I'd be scared sh*tless of me too but I won't say that) but I just want some consistency. If i text you will I get a text back, can we have a friendly meal out once every two weeks? I'm not asking for anything crazy here...but I'm not going to chase a friendship if it's not wanted.
Or do I just leave it...let actions speak for themselves?
