Zig, no worries about the hijack! I need all the help/info I can get. LOL
Journaling (this is a long one)...
I had a pretty good weekend. H left Friday morning for NC. He called me several times throughout his drive down, and later Friday night. I got home Friday, and found that my A/C was not working. I hit Google and figured out what I thought was the problem. I didn’t want to call H just about that. When he called to say good night, I told him about it, but said I was hopeful it would be fine the next day. I was really very nonchalant about it, which probably seemed strange to him. Before the bomb drop, I would have been livid, demanding he do something about it, even being 5 hours away. I totally wasn’t like that. He asked what I was going to do. I told him take a muscle relaxer and go to bed. He said well if you need to go buy another fan or something go ahead. I just told him I was fine. By Saturday morning, I had cool air again. GO ME!
Saturday morning I went for a massage. Lord I needed that! Then I took my self to brunch (egg & ham sandwich & tomato soup from Panera). I NEVER would have mixed up breakfast and lunch like that. Crazy right? I’m WAY more open to things than I was before BD. Just something else I’m noticing about myself, and I LOVE IT!
One of my closest friends here gave her daughter a dinner cruise for her 16th birthday, and they invited me, so I went to that Saturday night. I had fun. I’ve known the friend since the daughter was 4, so I did get a little teary eyed throughout the night. The friend was also a WAS in her first marriage, and I helped her through that. I finally told her a little of what has been going on with H and I, and she told me I was there for her, and she’d be here for me…with the caveat that she hopes we stay together. LOL Her H is retiring from the military next month, and we’ve been invited to the party. H said he definitely wanted to go to that. She said she was glad we were both coming, although she knew I would have gone alone, or with someone else. I love my friends. LOL
H called me several times Saturday. He called right after I got out of my massage and sounded a little perturbed that I didn’t pick up the phone when he called. Whatevs. They had bad storms where he was Saturday night and he sent me a text saying he couldn’t get reception, but he’d call me as soon as the storm let up. I finally called him around 1 am and he didn’t answer. He called me back like a minute later. Apparently he had been outside trying to call me and couldn’t get through, but noticed he had missed a call from me so he decided to try again.
He’s really excited about all of the things happening with his music. I validated as much as I could, and told him I was excited too about the opportunities that were coming his way. He told me that his friend would email him the beats they had come up with and he’d let me hear them as soon as he got home Sunday. (And he did!)
He got home really late due to him not feeling well and not wanting to drive like that. I was a little irritated and it showed when he called me at 5pm to tell me he was headed back. He had originally told me he wanted to be back by then. I felt bad about it, but couldn’t take it back, so I just told myself that I need to watch my expectations, and moved on. He called me a few hours into his trip to tell me he had gotten stopped by a State Trooper because his brake light was out. Luckily the trooper let him change the bulb right there and he didn’t get a ticket ($70!). He said he just wanted to call and tell me that. Before BD, I couldn’t even get him to call and tell me when he was leaving. He’d just send me a text.
He got home around 11:45 last night. He came right in, put his bags down, and came over to give me a kiss. We talked for over an hour about our weekends, and just random stuff. Then I realized it was 1 am and I had to get to bed. I made sure to kiss him good night. He said he was glad to be home.
I did have some moments of anxiety about the possibility of him seeing OW this weekend, but I really just had to shake myself and ask what I could do about it. Instead, I treated myself to a massage, and had some fun for a change. Boy did I need that!
Saturday morning I went for a massage. Lord I needed that! Then I took my self to brunch (egg & ham sandwich & tomato soup from Panera). I NEVER would have mixed up breakfast and lunch like that. Crazy right? I’m WAY more open to things than I was before BD. Just something else I’m noticing about myself, and I LOVE IT!
You'll love this-I read the above and thought, "you can't have egg & ham sandwich and tomato soup together!
Love your new confidence and rolling with it attitude.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Saturday morning I went for a massage. Lord I needed that! Then I took my self to brunch (egg & ham sandwich & tomato soup from Panera). I NEVER would have mixed up breakfast and lunch like that. Crazy right? I’m WAY more open to things than I was before BD. Just something else I’m noticing about myself, and I LOVE IT!
You'll love this-I read the above and thought, "you can't have egg & ham sandwich and tomato soup together!
Love your new confidence and rolling with it attitude.
H seems to be in a bad mood or something tonight. I called while I was at work to check-in and he sounded strange. I asked him about it, and he said he was fine, so I didn't think anymore about it. I get home, and he's acting moody. Tells me he hurt his back after he got off the phone with me. He did volunteer that he was sleepy/groggy when he talked to me earlier and that's why he sounded funny.
Now normally our R dynamic is that we both allow the other person's mood/emotions to dictate how we feel or react. I'm determined not to do that tonight. I cooked lasagna for dinner, which he thanked me for, and I have been relatively upbeat & happy. I gave him some Aleve and suggested he take a hot shower and head to bed early to catch up on his rest, and he's doing just that.
