I'll try to answer your questions from the previous thread... The reason she gave me was because she wasn't happy. The reasons that I didn't agree with her on certain issues are now the reasons she is giving for the breakdown of M. For example, she said we didn't spend enough time together. But when I wanted to do things, she always had an excuse to do something else. I would get upset that she would want sleep with SD and we never had any time to ourselves. That is just a couple of the reasons.
There is not a magic bullet that is going to give you a quick fix. These situations take time and patience. A lot of time and patience without any guarantees. Have you ever heard the line, “slow is fast and fast is slow”?
You have been given some great advice. What are you going to do with it?
Read your thread. It is unanimous that the work begins with YOU making changes on YOURSELF and what you are doing is not working.
You cannot talk yourself out of something that you acted your way into. Actions my friend, actions. It is time to dig deep and get busy. Actions speak louder than words.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
LITB, thanks for looking in. You say you cannot talk yourself out of something that you acted your way into... My issue is i truly did nothing to act my way into this! I have my faults just like everyone else has. But my W chose this for no apparent reason. None! She is saying the breakdown of our M was for the same reasons she said she fell in love with me. My W fell in love with me because I was the way I am know.
Maybe I can clarify... As I am typing these posts, my W and I have very little to no contact. And even less talk about M. So I am really not pursuing or begging at all.
"You say you cannot talk yourself out of something that you acted your way into"
This is really getting pointless. You continue to call your W a liar and a fake. So if you're saying that she's a fraud, end it already. It's obvious you can't seem to let go of that notion that YOU came up about her. She changed her mind. Deal with it.
You should copy all of the posts previously and re-post them here and read them over and over again until you get it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Bond, Sorry, but that wasn't my original quote. my mistake with punctuation. And if you think it is getting pointless, the by all means, don't respond. Just writing this down is helping me get through this. I am trying to find out why she changed... Is that too much to ask? When everyone that was involved with our M, other than her family, does not understand why this happened, it makes a person think. There has to be something! I appreciate the words, but please don't feel it necessary to respond.
I want to thank all those who have had words of encouragement. But I think it was a mistake to post my story here. I want to thank you again but I will no longer be participating.
and there it is. when it is something that doesnt fit into your idea of things, dont hear what you want to hear, you give up. sorry to see you do that. good luck
"I am trying to find out why she changed... Is that too much to ask? "
No it isn't. But asking in every post is too much. You can't answer something that there isn't an answer to. Or at least something that you will not have an answer that's satisfactory. Only your W knows and she's not talking.
I really do wish you luck and if you find yourself still stuck where you are or are closer than ever to D. I encourage you to go back and read the posts that I and the others have spent our personal time trying to teach you.
You'll see.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I want to thank all those who have had words of encouragement. But I think it was a mistake to post my story here. I want to thank you again but I will no longer be participating.
And just like that, you decide to bail. You should probably think about what that is going to mean to your ability to rescue yourself and maybe rescue your M.
When people post to your thread it is because they care and they want to help. You don't ever have to accept or even acknowedge that help. You'll still get it. But if youy feel the need to bail, then that is obviously your perrogative.
I've been posting in this forum for about 9 months now. Not all of what has been said on my thread I agree with, and a lot of it hit a little too close to home. But at the end of the day, I'd much rather lock arms with people who are walking the same path or have already been down this road then to do it alone.
So do what you feel you need to do. We'll still be here if you decide to come back around.
I wish you well, 17! I really do.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
