This past weekend was interesting. Friday night my H and I had a date. We stopped first to have a drink and then to the movies. The night started out great. We were sitting there having a drink and he was playing with his phone. I was watching. He said that he wanted to check his messages on FB because he was waiting for a golf buddy of his to contact him. He opened his messages up, no message from his golf buddy, but a message from the OW. I became very upset and excused myself to the restroom. Had to collect myself. I came back and sit back down and took a drink. He got a little defensive and said they were nothing but friends. I said ok. Open the message and let's read it together. And he did. She said
She said, I noticed you changed your status on FB, why didnt you tell me. I looked at him and asked what business is it of hers. He said I don't know, I told her a long time ago that she and I was nothing but friends. I told him that I was not going to tell him that he could not be friends with because that would be the old me, but there are boundaries that he and had and she had. And if she crossed that boundary then I was going to trust him enough to let her know. He agreed. After that he gave me this big kiss and we left for the movies. Had a great time after that.
Well, yesterday I was sitting on the couch and he came and sit beside me and looked me into the eyes and said thank you. I asked why and he said for taking me back. He said I love you very much. And he gave me a passonate kiss.
It sounds like you handled that FB message very well.
I can also telling you that I had almost the exact situation and I handled it badly, and I set our progress back about 4 months.
Over the holidays, my wife and I were on the path of reconciliation. She got a text from a neighbor that I suspected she had a brief fling with back early in the summer. I told her that one of my non-negotiables was that she had to stop being friends with him. She left the house to go back to her apartment an hour later and we've barely spoke since.
So kudos to you for keeping your cool!
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
Everything has been great so far. Knock on wood! LOL
I have just been myself, which he loves. I am asking him to help with little things around my place and he likes that. He said it makes him feel more like a man. Before, when I ask him to do something, he took his time and then I would end up doing it. I am asking him to take care of certain things, which he likes.
So far so good. Keep my fingers cross.
I wish he would go to IC. He won't. I feel like we need to get to the root of our problems, but he seems to want to forget about them. I told him that we needed to deal with them because I did not want this to happen again. I can't force him. I guess he will go when he is ready.
I told J I was not ok with him privately communicating (texting, etc) with the coworker he was interested in while we were split. I wasn't sure if I should have told him that or not, but in the end I felt like I would only resent him if I didn't make my feelings be known. I'm not ok with him being friends with her. He understands and doesn't want to risk US in that way. We are the main priority, not a slippery slope friendship.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
