Never thought I's be here.........Part 6

[Grmpy_Mnky]

You are sooo close brother. Keep it up - patience....

[labug]

Crimson, we miss your updates. After all your activity here, we can't just go cold turkey.

Make something up, tell us what you had for brkfst!

[Crimson]

LA - breakfast was two cups of coffee and 60mg of Prozac. That would not be as funny if it wasn't true.

So I dropped off one of S's toys and letter 2 this morning - the one adressing why it took her leaving for me to "wake up". She had already left for work as predicted, so just left them on porch.

As for the content and giving it to her in general, I would not have written it if she hadn't asked for an explanation 3 times basically. Clearly, she wanted my input on this and was not going to let it go. I think she will take it well - my guess is she already knows the content.

So now I find myself in an odd place. I have a combination of nerves, excitement and fear. I find myself wondering if she is making the gestures with the intent of CONTINUING to move forward with the D, or if she is truly having second thoughts. Either way, I have to prepare myself for both possibilities. I am waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop.

I will keep everyone posted. She has our S this weekend, so I will probably spend some time journaling - have a lot to get caught up on there.

Crimson

[kolja]

I'm really pulling for you, Crimson! As a WAW let me just say, I would cut off my left arm to receive a letter like that. Keep it up, and in your IC session listen more than you talk. Sounds like you planned on that anyway.

Heck, I'd cut off my left arm to be ASKED for one!!

Continuted good luck, Crimson!

[rickb89]

Crimson - I am so glad for you. Stick to what you have learned about yourself and you cannot do wrong. Keep cool...easy for me to say isn't it?

[sandi2]

No more letters! That's over-kill. You felt like you needed to do something, remember?

would not have written it if she hadn't asked for an explanation 3 times basically.

Key word in that statement is "basically"

What happened to a joint meeting with your C?

[Crimson]

That was the second and final letter. Not a big fan of having to write everything, per se. However, given the fact that we have not had a face to face R talk since September, trust me when I say that it was the best way to re-start the discussion. No ideal, but for sure the best.

We are schedule for 4:30 on Tuesday with MC. Nervous, but looking forward to it. Ironically, it was in her waiting room full of books that I first saw the DR book. I remember reading the back cover and having a "yeah, right" reaction to it. Little did I know it would stick with me until I was ready to be open to it and lead me right here.

She texted this morning saying that S was up crying at 4 am. Separation anxiety. Unlike him. He just wanted w to play with him or let him.

Crimson.

[rickb89]

Crimson - you and her going to the MC is huge! With your Newfound strengths and understanding and her searching for answers you and her could really start steps towards a new upgraded M.

At the MC let her see the changes in you....nothing forced...but the new place you now live at. Let her talk....listen ....be calm...be a provlem solver and seek to understand...let her see that from now on she and son comes first.

You and your path to growth here is so impressive.

[ces67]

C- Very excited for you! Good luck with whatever comes next. It will still probably be a long path so keep the patience going but walk the path with hope!

[Crimson]

So what do I do in IC if W gets angry? Or starts crying? My overall plan is to just sit back and listen and stay way the hell out of defensive mode. Nervous.....just trying to prepare.

Crimson