Like Two Sparrows in a Hurricane (2)

[MAL]

Interesting concept...

I keep thinking about RC today and what he has been thinking this weekend and today. I know he knows that church was tough on me, and I keep thinking about him and how he is feeling about that. I know he is probably worried about me, and I feel bad for him. He is a good man.

Yeah, that's one of the ways you know you love someone...when there are times you think about them and their feelings above your own. So sue me!?

[SunFunOne]

Hey Mal,

I didn't win this time but like you - I'm competitive! I bought a new game this year and we played it today. It's called 5 Second Rule. We had also played it on Christmas. Easy to play - even sitting in the living room with a large group - my kind of game!Anyway - won that one!

Barb

[Golfgirl1]

Ellie,
I had forgotten that was the situation you had with current boyfriend. I don't want to hijack this thread, but my amazing guy does not call, text, or email. Would love to chat more about this, but not sure where??

I have the same suspicions as you...not into me? in a R with someone else?? I'm definitely guarded..

[kml]

Well, Golfgirl, I dunno what to tell you about it - I never had a boyfriend this uncommunicative before!

He IS super-busy, and at work it's not easy for him to call or text (works with chemicals in protective gear). He's also caring for his elderly mother who is going through treatment for hepatitis C - she moved in with him just before I met him, and I think he's had a lot of difficulty adjusting from being a single guy living alone, to having his mom (and now twenty-something daughter) all living with him. Plus he has his 9 year old daughter every other weekend. I think frankly some days he's had ENOUGH of the women around him and last thing he wants is to call me and talk to another WOMAN lol.

Given all those excuses - I also think he's got some issues with getting close, and maybe the not-calling thing is his way to feel like he's still in control of the situation.

But when we're together, he's great. And when I broke up with him for a little while, he didn't run out to go out with other women - he still wanted ME. (And trust me, the way this guy looks and sings, he could pop into any karaoke bar in town, sing one song, and walk out with any woman he wanted. But his history is that he's usually a one-woman kind of guy, and I am seeing that now.)

It remains to be seen whether he can step it up a little bit. I'm really not the demanding type, it wouldn't take much to make me happy. But I've decided to just give him a little more time and see what happens.

[MAL]

Hijack anytime...I almost always find something useful in the replies. Thanks for sharing more here Ellie.

[MAL]

I was pretty exhausted after church and decided to relax (still licking my wounds a bit too I will admit), so I put on some squishy comfy clothes, curled up on my bed and watched the DVR for a bit until I finally fell asleep. The nap was very nice and needed after a late night last night.

Then I took YS and one of his friends to dinner and to a movie. We saw War Horse - GREAT film if you haven't seen it yet. Take a tissue (or two).

I am off for the next two days and I'm looking forward to having some more R&R time (was off Thur & Fri too). The timing is great since I'm feeling bummed about RC, but I have plenty to keep me busy (or a DVR full of great shows that I need to catch up on).

I'm also looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow for the first time in several days!!

[MAL]

Ugh. I am old enough and smart enough to not get caught on this roller coaster thing with RC. He does one little thing, and my heart goes pitter patter, my head spins, and you could knock me over with a feather.

P-U-L-EEEA-SS-E!!! lol

I haven't talked to him since church, and I like I said, I know he knows he hurt me so me being quiet is not a shocker. I figured I'd respond if he communicates with me, but otherwise no contact for now.

On Tuesday I'll see if he's going to the Rec Center to work out, but I will wait until mid-day Tuesday to even check on that.

I want to see if he makes contact with me (stick to the plan Mal, stick to the plan).

Earlier today I made a post on Facebook about what I did at my brother's for New Year's Eve. I also mentioned a really sweet text that my OS sent me just after midnight, telling me how great of a mom I was. In the post I wrote "I'm the lucky one."

This evening, RC clicked "like" on the status update. Although he is on Facebook a lot, he rarely posts and rarely comments on other people's posts. He mostly plays games and I think he talks to J a lot that way.

It was nice to see he read it, and I know his feelings are deep for my OS. So he would find the text and comment about OS heartwarming. No surprise so I tried not to make too much of the him clicking "like."

Just a little while ago, I made another post about going out for dinner and a movie. I didn't say with whom - trying to keep that mysterious edge in case RC is lurking. But people who are friends with YS would be able to figure it out if the read his page because he commented on the movie and tagged me in his post.

And just a few minutes ago, RC clicked "like" on that post too. Twice in one day -- not like him.

So there went the heart "pitter patter" -- good grief. I am such a sap. lol

It is 2am in the morning here and he is an early to bed kind of guy. Why on earth would he be up this late? No idea. I'm just surprised.

Stick to the plan Mal, stick to the plan.... :P

[MAL]

So much for my plan. I saw he popped back on Facebook really late last night so I asked "Why are you up so late?" He must have been off by then because he didn't respond and then I saw he was off. Sometimes I have a bit of a delay in showing who is online.

Then a little while ago he responded that everyone was up late talking (assuming he meant J, him and his mom, which is not a surprise because I've done the same with them). He said he is off today and he's helping his mom with a few things like getting the sheets changed on her bed. I guess J stayed in there like most of the guests do. He asked if I was off today.

I didn't see the message until a few minutes later and I responded (was on my cell phone so it looked like I was online).

I responded that I am off until Wednesday.

A few minutes later he replied it was great that I had a few extra days off. He said that he is surprised he was off today but very grateful for it. Then he said that his friend P just called and said they were not working out tonight because P has something at church. He also mentioned that it is going to get much colder tomorrow.

I replied that I'm glad I split the time off this way mid-week to mid-week. And yes, it did get colder.

Then he said Judy had the choir singing off-key yesterday didn't she?

(((Our music director struggles to lead us and we had a few mistakes. It was painful.)))

I responded with my impression of how it went and I agreed with him. She doesn't lead well and starts us too early or too late. ((((At one point half the choir was singing different words than the rest. It was funny!)))

Then he went off-line again. Doing Facebook from the cell phone is different for sure.

I know this Facebook chat isn't anything spectacular. It means we are friends and I know he is only talking to me because he can now.

I really just shared it because I wanted to kick myself because I didn't stick to my plan last night. I also like being able to read my journaling later.

I did not want to be the one initiating contact. But at least this way I guess he knows I don't hate him. That isn't all bad.

I am still a bonehead though.

Back to whatever this thing is with him and hoping I have enough patience and do not force an outcome like folks here have suggested. That will be hard after this weekend and seeing him sit with his "friend" J in my usual spot in church. (I am calling her his friend because that is what he called her in the text on Saturday. To be honest I don't really know what she is or how serious it is. But I'm not stupid either.)

Well time with my son is calling. Hugs!

[kml]

Ah, don't sweat it. I understand the irresistible urge to make contact, but doesn't sound like you blew it too badly. In fact, it may have been a good thing, since he saw that
you weren't mad at him.

[MAL]

I had a nice day and wish it wasn't over already.

I took YS out for a late breakfast for lunch.
I finally had the bike rack installed on my car -- This is my first bike rack so I wanted them to show me how to install/remove on my own.
I went to the beach and walked for about an hour and got some nice pictures while I was there. I also stopped in one of the little shops and got a shell turtle for my desk (someone accidentally broke the one I had from my last trip down there).
I went to OS's apartment and hung out there with him and took him to dinner.

A very nice day indeed.

Tomorrow I am getting an MRI on my foot. I injured it in May and it is still not healed. I hope this will show what is going on, finally. I am tired of limiting things I do and limping after a long day in dress shoes (I can't even think about heels).

The foot injury is on the list of things that I would consider a catalyst to the break-up with RC in July. I didn't feel like he was there for me, and I got tired of asking him to be. That was one of our communication problems - more on that some other time.

After the MRI that new bike rack might get a test ride. There are some trails at one of the parks at the beach that I haven't been on in years. I haven't decided yet - lots of things to catch up on at the house too. Plus I work out at the Rec Center tomorrow night. We'll see...