I sent MIL flowers

[rysmom]

i have to ask L if there's an alternative. i dont think so though. i have 1 more appt left with db coach ive been trying to save it cuz they are very expensive.
my son is doing well we went to a college open house today. my son is not working with h now, cuz he is busy with school. h didnt even call son today to go out with him. he is in such a MLC its crazy, he only cares about his own happiness. he use to never be like this.
When he came last wk he had tatoos down his whole left arm, and a long biker beard. h always had really nice skin and i think its sad to abuse your body like that, i dont think its healthy. Sorry im just ranting.
Hope your son is enjoying college. is your h being nicer to you?

[verycrazy]

But that's what happens when they go through a MLC. Change everything, clothes, hair, behaviors, A's sometimes, the car they drive. He seems to be a classic case of a MLC. He is still H under the MLC somewhere. If you loved him before, then feel sympathy for the man he is during this. He isn't himself now, an alien has taken over. Eventually he will come out of it, but who knows when? I hope your L can find an alternative to filing for D, since I know you hate that like I do. Look it up online for your state, and tell your L what you find. He has to do what you want, I think.

My H has come out of the tunnel. I sometimes see a bit of the MLC that could be lingering in him when he says or does something mean, but most of the time, he is if not always nice, then decent. We fuss sometimes, but no name calling at all anymore. He also doesn't seem to remember some of the things he said or did during the MLC years , which is weird.

My S is really enjoying college. He got his first test back and had a 92 on it. He drives there about 20 miles each way, which makes me nervous, but he is a good driver.

Don't worry about your H's tattoos and biker beard, he wants to look cool and recapture something he thinks is lost; probably his youth. My father had tattoos all down his arm from the Navy, and I still remember them. I thought he was cool. Have you spoken anymore to your H? How is your MIL? I hope she is getting better. Are you going to visit her? If you are in N.J., I once dated a guy from Mendham.

vc

[rysmom]

i text h today and said we should sell our rental property and split the $ because its in a flood zone and it got alot of damage during the hurricane. he said ok lets sell it. I said i can use my half to pay off my house, and he will have his mothers house and money from the sale of rental. I got no response.
I dont think i can do that though until i talk to a d lawyer. cuz last time i went the L said dont sign anything with him.

[rysmom]

I was coming home from church on sun. and was going to turn into the park and he was waiting to pull out of park. i couldnt see if ow was with him cuz windows are tinted. it made me sad she gets to enjoy his company instead of being with me and son. son will be gone soon and h missed out on 3 yrs of fun family outings, its very sad.

[verycrazy]

Yeah, I would be careful of signing anything without L seeing and okaying it first. It's a good idea for you to sell rental property, though, so you will be assured of a home, without payments, which will be more financially stable for you and S. vc

[verycrazy]

Maybe when your H eventually comes out of the MLC, he will regret all that happened.
Until then, just enjoy life with your S and your family and friends.


Oh, and re your other post, good for you telling H you wanted to sell the property and what you wanted to do with the proceeds. Now he knows you are not going to just let him take all and leave you with nothing. I am not saying your H would do that, but you never know what MLC will make them do. Or what ow will push them to do. Maybe it won't be long before that wears off, I hope.

[rysmom]

Hi vc
How are you doing? Not much is new. ive been playing tennis and taking my algebra class. Not looking forward to the winter here in the northeast.

[rysmom]

I really love the fall though, so ill enjoy that. I have to buy some mums and a pumpking to make my house look nice. i always enjoy doing that. I told my son id make him a pumpkin pie too. I might buy a Gumby costume , i always liked Gumby.

[25yearsmlc]

Hi vc, you Crimson lover you--hey your son isn't going there is he? I forgive him if he is...but I won't forget! hey, that red is kinda like Alabama's... hmmm, interesting similarity...

OKAY...rysmom

Maybe when your H eventually comes out of the MLC, he will regret all that happened.
Until then, just enjoy life with your S and your family and friends.


my quibble here, and it IS just a quibble, is not to wait for your h to "wake up" and get it or regret it...

the sad truth is that he may NOT EVER on this earth, regret it or change his mind. There are days I think that the longer they stay away the longer and more deeply they justify things...

so the only thing YOU can do is LIVE the life God gave you as well as you can.

You may have been dealt a bad hand of cards but you still have to play them as well as you can.

And vc, if she's really only got one option to protect herself with, then we have to let those cards fall where they fall.

I'm not saying this will happen BUT I do have 2 family members who divorced and later remarried their exes...so it does happen.

Meanwhile rysmom, live well. Learn to be happy. Life IS a gift so let's treat it like one.

Oh, and re your other post, good for you telling H you wanted to sell the property and what you wanted to do with the proceeds. Now he knows you are not going to just let him take all and leave you with nothing. I am not saying your H would do that, but you never know what MLC will make them do. Or what ow will push them to do.

or what his Free Will does....

Maybe it won't be long before that wears off, I hope.

good luck, be strong.

[MrBond]

What ever happened to your recent meetings with the L?