U guys all crack me up - total honesty here. you know the other guy is a LBS - yet we have to be secret on the boards and not say who it is. There are more of us out there than people think.
The OP is one of the greatest guys I have ever met. And because of what he has been through and what he knows I am currently going through he has removed himself completely from the situation. I am so proud of him (even though it is painful for me). I even have to laugh because I have tried to contact him in my weakness - and he has gone "dark". ;)pulling that DB stuff on me why don't ya!lol!
In all seriousness, it is for the best and we both know it. I need to stand and face my situation and deal. I can't properly do that if I am constantly thinking of another man.
Still miss him and wish him all the love and peace that he deserves.
So here I am facing my H - I hate it, he pisses me off, I want to run my car into his (oh yeah, already did that didn't I?! ROFLMAO!!) H really is coming out of his MLC - so funny actually the things he says that he doesn't even realize they ALL say - take for example:
"working on the house the other day, it felt good for the first time in a long time. I used to take such pride in my house and yard and then I just hated it. Saturday I felt that pride again. and working along side you was really nice again."
"I love it when we just talk, you and I, not about our R. Just life. I enjoy that time with you."
"TAMF, will you please watch the last episode of Entourage on HBO. I watched it and cried. I never cry. Will you do me that favor and watch?" -----I did watch and I cried because it was about a man who was losing his wife and he finally realized that he loves her and can't live without her. He has opera singers come and serinade her, quits his job and tells her that he loves only her and that he is taking her to Italy for a year.---------
After I watched the Episode of Entourage, I text him and said
"Mrs. Ari gets opera singers and her man professing passionate love for her and tells her he can't live without her, and I get...we broke it off, wanna see the text she sent me? I know that I have to win you back, but I have to go home to my girlfriend now, but I love you."
His reply was "I suck"
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
well, you gotta love the brevity...( & truth) of his words.
what do YOU think?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
U guys all crack me up - total honesty here. you know the other guy is a LBS - yet we have to be secret on the boards and not say who it is. There are more of us out there than people think.
The OP is one of the greatest guys I have ever met. And because of what he has been through and what he knows I am currently going through he has removed himself completely from the situation. I am so proud of him (even though it is painful for me). I even have to laugh because I have tried to contact him in my weakness - and he has gone "dark". ;)pulling that DB stuff on me why don't ya!lol!
Just a thought, may be OP was all part of the divine plan. Who knows?
I've read where a few LBS's succumb to rebound; seems to be part of a process or journey. I know it seems like using the OP, but don't be too hard on yourselves; it always takes two to tango. It's not as though OP doesn't enjoy your company for a while.
I haven't met any OP's yet and not looking. But sometimes I wonder; it's normal. A friend of mine who has been D for 10 yrs, told me that his XW freaked out when he started seeing an OP. I suppose it has to have some effect, not "reaction" mind you, but "effect".
Of course with my luck, I'll finally meet someone interesting, just when XW and her OM are falling apart and her MLC fog is beginning to lift, and then I won't get to enjoy my new OP. LOL.
Right now's not the time though. May be after a few years. I'll be in a better more forgiving place. Right now I wouldn't take her back based on pure emotion, fear, anger, victimhood, righteous indignation, you know all those grudgy things. But I will get to that place; it's on my journey.
Posted this before: "Don't confuse forgiveness with insanity." Forgiveness is letting bygones be bygones and not holding your pain against them. Insantiy is making yourself vulnerable to their crazyness all over again.
It's not just me who has to change. XW does too.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
[quote=InAPickleRight now's not the time though. May be after a few years. I'll be in a better more forgiving place. Right now I wouldn't take her back based on pure emotion, fear, anger, victimhood, righteous indignation, you know all those grudgy things. But I will get to that place; it's on my journey.
[/quote]
My reasons for not wanting him back are very simple - he doesn't know if he wants to come back and that in unacceptable to me. I KNOW it would be really hard to start over with H, but a new relationship cannot last or exist without commitment from both people. Right now neither of us can commit. plain and simple.
Until I get the 2 things I won't do without...love only me and not plan B. I won't let him in.
He told me last night that he hasn't chosen yet. I told him that it isn't his "choice" any longer. He might choose me but I may not want him back. He will have to do some kick A$$ "action" to prove he even loves me the way I deserve to be loved in a marriage.
Until then I will just enjoy my days. I am still proceeding with divorce. He hasn't shown me any action that would make me think I should.
He is a smooth talker my STBX - he could talk an Eskimo into buying a snow manking machine and the poor guy wouldn't even know what happened. He would just smile with his big dimples, puppy dog brown eyes (so sincere) and the words just flow out like creamy chocolate.
Oh my, I just realized I must be married to a politician! lol!!!!
Happy Little Friday everyone
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
guys...I told you that I am facing my STBX and dealing. You all told me I should - friggin browbeated me actually - so I am facing and dealing until I am done.
Like I said, I hate it. I am pissed. but it needs to be done.
Next question you both are going to ask...
WHY do you hate it? WHY do you let him affect you?
blah blah blah
Not letting them affect us gets easier, but there is no way the Sh!t he is putting me through can't affect me. I would be an emotional zombie.
So I am dealing...
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
