E: So sorry for your pain. Be strong for you and your children. Take things as slow as you can - now is not the time for quick decisions. Be there for your kids, as you of course will be - keeping them close is important.
The storm will subside soon, then you can decide how to move forward.
Thoughts are with you.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
I'm sorry that you are having to go through this on top of all the other stuff you've had to deal with lately. Although perhaps it gives you a little bit of clarity and insight into the big picture of whats been going on?
The OW's actions are pretty strange - hope it's limited to phone calls and doesn't get any more bizarre.
I know that right now you may feel in shock - so try not to take any irreversible actions for the moment.
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
Thanks, Mike, Val and DG. I appreciate the support.
I'm still upset but trying to rest as much as I can as I didn't get any sleep last night. I'm also doing a lot of cuddling with S7. D is still sleeping.
I will maintain my dignity as best as I can right now. H texted her and told her that thanks to her playing God, he has the memory of his family's devastation burned into his memory forever. He also told her to F off.
She still called again.
I am not picking up. I have nothing to say to this low life person.
And Aloneat35, I will not give ow the satisfaction of hearing my hurt or anger. She is showing her true colors and pursuing my H like a crazed maniac, while I am ignoring the phone and trying to explain things to S7 because he keeps asking what's going to happen. I keep reassuring him that we both love him and that mommy has to figure that out but that he will always see both of us. This is so hard.
Tell your husband to text her and tell her if she dials your number one more time that he will get a no contact order. She sounds scary...be careful!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Tell your husband to text her and tell her if she dials your number one more time that he will get a no contact order. She sounds scary...be careful!
I agree 100%. He needs to contact her with you present and let her know in no uncertain terms to stop contacting your family in anyway. She needs to know that you mean BUSINESS and that her Fatal Attraction self is NOT allowed to play any part in what happens in YOUR family. Does her H know about the affair? Is he the type of person who will threaten your H? Do they live near you, or do her children go to school with yours? Right now, focus on protecting yourself and your children emotionally and however else you need to from this monster. Grrr...I wish I were there to answer her calls for you! I'd put that little hussy in her place!
Also just a bit of advice, since she sounds like a pot stirrer....if she tries to forward you any communication she has had with your H (texts, emails, etc), I strongly advise that you put them away and do NOT read them. First of all, you never know what she has fabricated. She doesn't sound like she is the most sane person in the world. So don't hurt yourself anymore by participating in that game with her. However, it may be wise that anything you are given is put away for safekeeping just in case you need it in the future. Still, under no circumstances listen to or read anything she gives you.
E, I have so much empathy for you right now. I will say that from what I know of you (from reading your threads), you are a level-headed, loving, forgiving, kind and AMAZING woman. I can also tell that you are a top shelf mom and wife. Do your best to keep your emotions in check (trust me...I know how hard that is!) and think with your head and not your heart right now. I'm in your corner more than ever before!
Tell your husband to text her and tell her if she dials your number one more time that he will get a no contact order. She sounds scary...be careful!
I agree 100%. He needs to contact her with you present and let her know in no uncertain terms to stop contacting your family in anyway. She needs to know that you mean BUSINESS and that her Fatal Attraction self is NOT allowed to play any part in what happens in YOUR family. Does her H know about the affair? Is he the type of person who will threaten your H? Do they live near you, or do her children go to school with yours? Right now, focus on protecting yourself and your children emotionally and however else you need to from this monster. Grrr...I wish I were there to answer her calls for you! I'd put that little hussy in her place!
Also just a bit of advice, since she sounds like a pot stirrer....if she tries to forward you any communication she has had with your H (texts, emails, etc), I strongly advise that you put them away and do NOT read them. First of all, you never know what she has fabricated. She doesn't sound like she is the most sane person in the world. So don't hurt yourself anymore by participating in that game with her. However, it may be wise that anything you are given is put away for safekeeping just in case you need it in the future. Still, under no circumstances listen to or read anything she gives you.
E, I have so much empathy for you right now. I will say that from what I know of you (from reading your threads), you are a level-headed, loving, forgiving, kind and AMAZING woman. I can also tell that you are a top shelf mom and wife. Do your best to keep your emotions in check (trust me...I know how hard that is!) and think with your head and not your heart right now. I'm in your corner more than ever before!
I'm extremely sorry for your pain and for the pain this causes your children. OUCH!!
I hope they can talk to someone. Doesn't have to be a big shrink-think medical deal but someone safe...btw, my oldest d was 16 when H left the house and their r is on the mend. But,
it took some huge hits...don't know how else to put it. Repairable? Well, yes. But will she think of him as uber available caring dad when she's older and looks back on this? Probably not.
I wish for your daughter what I wish for mine...
That she knows he was a hardworking man who would kill or die for his kids, but got lost awhile, and deeply wounded her. Then he found himself and his way back to her.
This past Father's Day my d22 (then 16) wrote that she was ready to let him "back into her heart"...made me and h both cry.
My h takes my d out to dinner one on one monthly, and they speak more often I think, than We do. (He calls a lot). He's trying. I don't know what he tells her about the whole ordeal although I assume it's a generic "big mistake"...(and that may be all my d wants to hear frankly.)
But their age makes this a formative time and experience.
He will have to teach her that not all men cheat. [b] He'll have to show her what redemption is.
You can show her what forgiveness means.
That could be a great legacy for your family and future generations/b]...or not.
Most of this will be up to you, but it is a process that takes time.
Nothing has to be decided today.
Oh re: OW, I think she sounds desparately unhappy and odd. Hate to say it but I nearly feel sorry for her. How miserable must a married woman be in her own life, to think it's alright to call the Wife of the man she had an affair with?
Like you two would join in the "Hate the h" club?
gee, how fun....
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I'd put that little hussy in her place!