He was a wise man to leave the woman I was But he would be a fool to leave the woman i am becoming
I love that ^^^ ... so true.
Thanks Cinders.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Have not posted to you before but am following along, your sitch is encouraging.....
The only advice I would offer is that if you do this up there ^^^^^^^^^
it is easier after a few beers...
Cheers
Jack, MHL... great advice!!!
I'm guess that's what I'm going to have to do! At least for a while. LOL
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
My mom dated a very gregarious irishman for 10 years when I was a kid. He flirted shamelessly with ANYONE! Big, small, young, old, he couldn't help himself. Even in his 80's, women loved him.
He died 3 years ago and I wouldn't be surprised if he had flirted with every woman at the service at some point in his life.
His first wife, his late wife, and my mom - who have all been friends for years - hugged and cried together at the service, and still keep in touch regularly.
Thanks Toon. I think that my W would respond in much the same way that you describe of yourself here if I over played my hand. I'm just trying to balance it out a little better than I did back in March. Give her the space that she says that she needs, keep showing her that my changes are real and permanent, and keep enforcing the boundaries that I set a few weeks ago.
Thanks again!
Denver
This, Denver! This is what I am looking for from my husband. I think this is what your W is looking for from you, also.
I also wanted to say that my sitch mirrors yours, too, in that my H was "completely done" with me at one point in mid to late February. He wrote me this final-I'm-done email that wished me well in life with a washing-his-hands-of-me tone. At that point, I let go of him. I said some of the things that you said to your W. "I do want this M, but I'm no longer willing to accept..." and I truly began to feel single. Not dating-wise, but just no longer as tied to him or even slightly invested in us as a couple. Then, two weeks later, he did a complete 180. I think it really hit him that I might move on. He flipped out. There were the constant texts, the calls, the pursuing. The lashing out. And then, he just got really nice. And bought a cafe where I work so that he could be even more tied to me. And honestly, he hasn't been this consistent and this normal in a long time. So, four months later and I'm almost, slightly beginning to gain the slightest bit of hope.
I think the same thing happened to your W when you found OM on the toilet.
Me: 33, H: 32 M: 12 years T: 13 years No kids D-Day: 7/2009 Separated: 10/12/10 Future Unknown GITS
"There's a fire starting in my heart, reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark." - Adele
