And always LOOK your best and BE your best, in case chance encounters with her might happen or friends who see you tell your W how happy you are and good you look...
and the side effect...? We actually begin to believe we look good and feel good...
Thanks KD. I actually do feel really good these days. My kids have made a world of difference for me in being happy. I have no other choice than to be the best I can for them.
Update on my progress on reducing contact with my W.
Her mom is back in the hospital after being released on Friday. When she called to let me know about her mom being released, I let the call go to VM. I didn't know why she was calling, nor did I feel like talking to her at the time. I had the kids call her back when I got home about an hour later. After they were done talking I ended the call, because I still didn't feel like talking to her. Apparently she wanted to talk to me.
She called Saturday morning while I was on the phone and left another message. She said that D8 must have not told me that she wanted to talk to give me an update on her mom. Our D didn’t. I called her back, listened and told her that I was glad that her mom is better and back home. In the evening, she called again to tell me she was back in the ER with her mom. Then during the night she sends me a text letting me know her mom is getting admitted. When I replied this morning, she called to let me know that her mom has a blood clot and will be in the hospital for 3-4 more days. The only reply I had was, “I’m glad that you didn’t wait and took her back to the hospital.”
It’s getting old TBH. Last Monday I told her that I wished that I could be there for her and that I missed her. She blasted me for not being there for her before and told me she was so sick of me that she didn’t want to be around me. I get we had an emotional disconnect and I’m willing to work through those issues. To say that I wasn’t there for her before is complete nonsense. It is amazing how many positive things a WAS forgets.
Well, I meet with my L on Wednesday to go over my case on custody of our kids. I’m sure things will get more interesting for my sitch in the next couple of weeks. The reduced contact might just happen on its own. We shall see.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
My W has been dealing with some difficult times within the last 2-3 weeks and she just got hit with more bad news.
I've been journaling about my MIL being hospitalized and she remains in the hospital. So that has been a huge burden on my W.
What I haven't included in any journal is that her cousin32 had been hospitalized for the last week with untreated strep throat, that turned into pneumonia. I don't know the entire story, but I do know that the illness destroyed his kidneys and they had put him in an induced coma. Forgive me for my medical terminology. The news that we kept hearing was that he was improving. Unfortunately I received a call from my W within the hour that he wasn't able to pull through and that he had passed away.
I'm just blown away. He has always been a healthy person. It just goes to show you that life on this earth is short and we don't know when our time is up. Understandably my W was upset and I tried to comfort her as much as possible. I was able to pray with her to ask the Lord to give the family comfort during their difficult time and that may their sorrow turn into joy. She was very thankful.
So here I am, getting ready to meet with my L tomorrow to go over my case as my W deals with some challenging times. I don't plan to stop fighting for my kids given the circumstances, but I do feel some obligation in letting her know what I am up to. Of course not give her all the details. I just don't want to blindside her right now.
I don't know. I would like some input from the board.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
LITB, I just popped in read that last thread. That's devastating! I think you will know the right thing to do. It probably would be the right thing to do to just give her a quick heads up that you're meeting with the L. All business, little details.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
So here I am, getting ready to meet with my L tomorrow to go over my case as my W deals with some challenging times. I don't plan to stop fighting for my kids given the circumstances, but I do feel some obligation in letting her know what I am up to. Of course not give her all the details. I just don't want to blindside her right now.
I don't know. I would like some input from the board.
Any help with my dilemma? Should I wait until after I meet with my attorney to say anything?
I've told her before that I have always been upfront and honest with her regarding the agreement that was originally worked out, but I never signed.
Perhaps a simple email? I'm not out to hurt her, just out to protect myself and my kids.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I'm short on time, but I don't think there is anything wrong with giving your W a heads up.
Perhaps talk with your L first to see where you stand and then talk to her.
There is a fine line between DBing and then just doing what you believe is right. You seem to have a positive relationship with your W. I think I would let her know.
Just a very humble opinion...
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
Thanks Country. I think that I will let her know later today. If I get a chance, I will post the email that will be sent.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Here is the email that I'm thinking of sending. Please give me any feedback.
Good Morning W,
I realize that you are going through some difficult times right now and the last thing you want to deal with is the D. It is the last thing I want to deal with myself.
Since the beginning of our situation, I have been very forthcoming on everything with you and I wish to continue doing that. Just to let you know, I will be meeting with my attorney soon to go over the agreement and to get her advice on how I should proceed.
It is important to me to be considerate of you and the circumstances.
I hope you have a great day.
LITB
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Thanks CS. I haven't sent the email to her. I will take your advice and meet with my L before I communicate with my W regarding this.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
