While your H went off the deep end on what you felt was simple humour speaks volumes of... something...
What that is can only be guessed at. We cannot mind read and there's also the understanding that we believe none of what we hear and 50% of what we see.
He's very sensitive to feeling like you're blaming him and not accepting any of the blame (whether it be that or anything else). Sounds familiar to me as that is how I originally took my W. That she accepted none of the responsibility for where we were at.
And then I finally accepted that I cannot control what she does or thinks. I accepted that I really don't know what she is thinking. I can only "listen" to what she says and does.
You have appologized for making light of something he was apparently offended by. That's all you can do. He will either accept it or not.
He seems too committed to your "friendship" to believe this is a deal breaker and he is gone for good. I suspect he'll just be distant for a little while and then start up again. But that's my feeling and that could be completely off. Only he knows.
All you can do is take a short amount of time and beat yourself up over it... and then let it go...
I know, it's easier said than done. But it must be done. You have your D1's b-day to worry about. Regardless of how you feel now, unless you are done, you will need to take on the next contact as up beat and positive as you can. So baggage should be left at the door.
