All's well that ends . . . . . .?

[ericmsant2]

Punkin
I have not been around these neck of the woods in a long time and I just caught up on your thread.
I am soooo sorry that you are divorced now and my heart and prayers go out to you. I know that you will get through this though…get through it a much stronger person. I agree with B, you showed dignity and grace throughout this…and I believe that in the future you will reap the benefits of what you have sown.

I believe the 'could have beens' are what is haunting me at present.

These thoughts will begin to dissipate in time. Stay in the present. Everyone, you, your XH, your children, your grands, everyone….has time where they reflect on the “coulda, shoulda, woulda” stuff. Ya know what? Life Punkin is about living and learning. Learn from the mistakes that YOU made. Learn to forgive yourself. Accept that you, me, a lot of us, did the best we could with the tools we had at the time.

Punkin, he almost certainly will not be happy

IMO, when you realize that, it really does not matter as much if he is or isn’t. As a loving human being, strive to wish the best for everyone. It is much easier said then done….but the peace that comes with living this way is well worth it.

I really am trying to be brave and hold my head up high through this thing

You do not have to try – YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE IT!

God Bless,
Eric

[MHL]

Hey Punkin,

I am glad you are done with yesterday, each day is one more day between you and that day......its significance will shrink with TIME.

The funny thing is, everything he took he listed as marital, which means he would have to bring them back to auction.

I've done the double-dog walk through on the house, and you know what struck me? He didn't take a single picture of the kids or grands. Nada. Just Arts & Crafts artwork. Hope he enjoyed how nice the yard looked.

My XW came into my house about 2 weeks after our divorce and took a diamond tennis bracelet that I had given her one Christmas years ago. (pretty nice one, I worked in the industry at the time).

She had given it back to me last August, I think OM#1 had broken up with her and she was feeling guilty so in tears she gave me the bracelet and told me to sell it so that me and the kids could stay in the house a little longer.

When she found out that I was seriously dating someone else is when she took it. When I noticed it was missing from a drawer I had it hidden in, I called her.

She admitted it saying that she did not want me to give it to my GF, she wanted the kids to have it........LOL.

She did not take one picture of the kids, no school artwork they had done, just a few books of hers.

The madness goes on for them for sure, I think they are frustrated that the pain they feel does not go away with the divorce. They still want to blame us, they still want us to look at them as the victim.

I just try to avoid contact with her and I find that is the best way to deal with her.

You have come so far and done so much for yourself....stay on that path and keep stepping.

Happy Little Friday!!!!

Cheers

[AntoniaB]

I am just struck by how strong you sound--this is proof that you will be fine. You will prevail. You said you're not going to let this get you down, and that assertive statement in the face of all of this is so important. You have come so far. You'll be fine.

I'm sorry that you have had to go through this additional pain but these things are necessary for your new life to fall into place. You are building strength and a new life day by day. You are already making it, Punkin!

[punkin]

Thanks guys. First day at work as a 'single divorced white female' seeking 'absolutely no one'.

Still sting from the way he treated me in court yesterday, but I know that was to be expected, and, as MHL says, everyday is one day further away from that experience.

Now I have to think up a good name for a new thread, or JTB will slap my hands. Hmmmm, let's see . . . . .

[dl443322]

Punkin, I wanted to be sure you knew that I never meant to minimize what your xh did when he snuck into your home. It was cowardly and a terrible thing to do to you.

You are going to be feeling all sorts of things the next few days - sadness, anger, disbelief, relief. Just got to deal with each one as it comes.

We all know you are going to be ok. Of that there is no doubt.

Take good care.

[punkin]

Brooklyn,

I never for a second thought you were minimizing my pain. I wouldn't be able to go on without the wisdom and humor of people like you on these boards. Check out my new thread. I'm feeling feisty.