The Lies and Deception Killing Me

[abbey1989]

Hi,

H and I had a finance talk on Monday a.m. before work. He thinks I am not handling things properly (probably right). I have been a mess since early February.

Need to get it together.

Then later Monday a.m. he texted me that we will work it out (finances I think?) and that everything will be ok. I texted back that I'll try to be more organized and he responded that he knows I will do great and what can he do to help? Those are the moments when I think....YES....I did marry a pretty nice, rational guy.

Then today...

he took my car (his car in shop) and I called around 1:30ish to say hi, see how day was going...didn't answer. No big deal...
He finally called around 3:30pm..missed the call.

BUT...when we did talk around 4:30pm, he said oh yeah....I called you around lunch time (uh...no...didn't get a call on my cell) and I tried at home too (uh....checked callerid when I got home and there were no calls received on the home number since this a.m. from my friend). SO HELLO!

Then...I checked our cell phone account online....no activity on his phone from 11:30 to 3:30 when he called. F him. Just saying.

LIES LIES LIES.

Still working on tax stuff for my meeting with accountant tomorrow. I hope you all are having a much better day than me!

Song for the day: "God Says Nothing Back" Wallflowers

[abbey1989]

Why DON'T you start going to the gym for four hours?

I'm serious - ever wonder what would happen if yoiu started mirroring his behavior? If he goes out - you go out too and be gone longer. Come home after him. Let him start to wonder and worry a little bit about where you are.

Go to the grocery store and come home late - without groceries. lol!

I have done that and I am not a good liar....always come clean about where I've been! Need to work on that skill perhaps.

[abbey1989]

Hi Starsky - just a response on your note - when I discovered affair, in Sept, through when I started really started posting in Jan we had some confrontations. He'd lie to me or avoid answering. He was still seeing OW off and on. EA was discovered, he called landlady to break lease, he moved out, told me he wanted D, ignored kids...we had all kinds of fun. he either reacts irrationally, goes to a shutdown mode, or got mean to push me away.

AJM.....you are one special gal. Hugs to you friend!!! You have been through so much. xoxo

[AJM80]

Thanks Abbey - I love you and I'm going to yell at you anyway! Did it help you to check phone bill and caller id? Try to either not care or look at the positive (somewhere in that brain he knew he should have or meant to call).

Babysteps on doing things like he is - maybe you do tell him where you are, but not who you are with? He tells you "where he is" - so don't discount going off and doing things, even ig you do spill the beans.

[abbey1989]

AJM...I KNOW I KNOW! I get crazy when I know in my heart he is lying and I have to check things to prove to myself that I AM NOT LOSING IT! he he.

For the last two years I pretty much swept all of those little "lies" or feelings about him lying under the carpet, for my own sanity. I was actually in a pretty good place but still knew....just knew...something was off.

So AJM...what is going on with you? I need to read your thread! Sorry to have been so selfish.

[abbey1989]

Starsky,

I really like your quote from Heaven Can Wait. GREAT MOVIE... In fact....a scene from that film has always stuck with me. Hap (Audrey Hepburn) walking through that beautiful field wearing all white. After taking my photo class last fall, I decided to gather my entire extended family for a photo up at out lake house. There is a beautiful field adjacent to my parent's home and the only thing that I asked of both young and old was to wear shades of white/off white. The pictures turned out amazing. That particular scene in the movie was my inspiration.

[abbey1989]

Oops....I just realized that the movie with the scene I referenced for my photos was "Always" NOT "Heaven Can Wait". In any case....I think I must really like that genre...you know...someone dies but has unfinished business? "Chances Are" "Ghost" have seen them all!

Sleep well my friends.

[abbey1989]

Taxes done and submitted! Whew...and we don't owe as much as I thought so I am relieved.

Now I can get back to GAL. Can resume hiking and training for Whitney! I think H is going on that trip but not positive. I plan to go either way (I think?). Part of me thinks well if he doesn't go....then he'll be with OW....but in reality...he is probably doing that a few days a week anyway so what is the difference?

OR....maybe he isn't? I don't know because we have not discussed the whole situation.

Have a great Friday all!

Song for the Day: "Brand New Day" Sting

[AJM80]

Go, don't backslide. He'll love how amped up you are when you get back and so will you. Lay on a sunny rock on top of the mountain for me and bask in the joy of a life fully lived.

[abbey1989]

Hi,

Thank you...I will! I have a few dates coming up where I have to leave home overnight. I almost dread it. End of June, D17 needs to go to college orientation in NoCal. I told H we should go and make a weekend of it and he said "you should go....I've been there already". Then we talked this weekend about a camping trip (may turn out to be just us two) up to a coastal concert in May. We invited all of our friends but most of them have kids with proms, banquets, end of school year stuff. Could be just the two of us.

Weekend was pretty good. Watched "The Graduate" last night. Loved it and the soundtrack.

Hiked this morning with friends, made breakfast at a park and played frisbee.

H has been gone for 2+ hrs riding motorcycle. He is mixing up his game. Now not always gone in the mornings, but gone early evenings (for last few weekends).

Whatever!

Song for the day: "Forget You" CeeLo Green (I like the F** You version at the gym)