Thank you. I have tears in my eyes from your responses. Knowing that I have to go into the courtroom as, let's face it, my H's opposition, to prove my worth as a wife for the last 20 years, is just tearing me apart.
My ducks are in a row. I know how to protect myself. It's just like going into battle, and for the first time in 20 years, I'm the enemy, not at his side. In fact, not wanted by his side.
Okay, punkin, one beer too many! Time to take a shower and watch reruns on TV.
Snodderly is so right, at least in my experience. You dread it, and it is hard, but then it is OVER. A great weight is lifted off us, and we are free from the gnawing anxiety, while at the same time knowing that they can no longer blame us for their misery or ever hurt us so badly again.
Incidentally are you watching the new series - A game of Thrones. It takes you out of yourself!
No, Beatrice, what channel? I know that once it is all over, with God's will, I should be able to take a full breath again. It's just how long can I hold my breath between now and then?
Unfortunately, as long as the house is unsold, we will still have THAT bond. I'd as soon we had none, but so it goes. I feel myself trying to slip into depression just a bit more. Been going to bed at 8:00 p.m.-still light outside. But at least I can lose myself in a good book. Yes, I'm still taking the antidepressants.
Having lunch today with my real estate person-H's aunt- who is going to bring me a detailed list of how it was H that held up the listing of the house, not me. Have to make an appt. at my lawyer's for next week. Battle strategy. Jesus wept.
It is on HBO - same channel that made Band of Brother
Even if there is the house to sell, the deal is sorted with the divorce. I promise it is easier. The finality is helpful, and they have no right to dish out any more bs. The realisation of this comes as a shock fo some
Oh Punkin, you sound like me with the depression--I sleep a lot anymore. I stay up pretty late but I take a fair amount of naps, and I'm not on a regular anti-d. but I have one that I can take if I feel I won't sleep plus some anti-anxiety meds. I feel that depression reaching for me too of late. I am tired of it. Emotionally exhausted in finding ways to "fight" the depression and low mood swings off.
I know this is a an awful time for you as it was for all of us who are past it, but Beatric is right it will sort of feel like a weight off when it is over. The anxiety of things "pending" is probably half of the reason many of us have depression. The other half is because of the grief and anguish. When things stop pending, especially BIG things, you will get some room to breathe.
Hugs to you...
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
Oh and let me give you this quote that a friend told me which is in a book called Stone Gods by Jeannette Winterson: "Close your eyes and sleep. Close your eyes and dream. This is one story. There will be another."
There is always another story. Everything that "ends" sparks a new beginning. The seeds of that beginning are all around you; you just can't see them sprouting through your grief but believe it, they are there.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
Sorry B, don't get HBO. Antonia, thanks for the quote. I know you are all 100% guaranteed positively right. It's just a piece of paper. The only finality there is to it is if it if meant to be over.
Had lunch with H's aunt, our realtor, and she gave me the copies of where he has been the one stalling on getting the house listed. She also told me that of the ones that will talk about H's behavior, they believe he is going to hit rock bottom sooner rather than later, but we will see.
Also got a call from my L today, saying the paperwork is all typed up for my court appearance, and I'm going by to read them and sign off on them tomorrow.
Another big storm front heading right for my town. They are telling people on the news if you know someone in M___, call and tell them to be prepared. Joy! If I drink enough Bloody Marys, I won't give a shat.
Thanks everyone for your unwavering support and friendship.
I understand from the weather reports this is to be another nasty round of storms for your area among others. Do you have a place of safety to get to if needed?
