Hey, I do have a question. How do you post those quote boxes in your threads? I can't figure out how to do that. Please send me some brief instructions.
BITS never walk alone!
FOBD
It's really easy FOBD. Instead of hitting 'reply' hit 'quote'. You'll see whatever it is that ou are trying to quote in bw brackets
Originally Posted By: MEMBER
yada, yada
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Denver, Just wanted to stop by and say "hello." Finally settling in for the night and have some time to chat. Any contact from your W today? How are the funeral arrangements going? When do you head to Buffalo?
Went to my W's grandma's 'viewing' today. Was there with my W for about 90 minutes.
I noticed that she signed us in the 'memory' book as a family, W, Denver, SS... I liked that.
Afterwards, I met her at her mom's where her family was gathering for dinner and more planning for the funeral tomorrow. Hung out with W and her family for about another 4 hours.
Another good day with W... no slip ups from me. No R talk. My only concern is that I still feel this hesitation from my W. An invisible hand keeping me at bay.
She did let me gently rub her back while we sat on the front porch for a bit talking.
I still have zero security with the sitch though... need...
PATIENCE
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
It must be hell for you to be so close and yet in your mind so far away. Why cant they just see that staying with someone that is willing to forgive all is the true measure of love. To me thats when you really know some one loves you when they are willing to forgive you for an affair.
The patience thins is essential and painful; I know.
I guess at this point , you must stay the course and keep improving yourself. It will be interesting to see how she reacts to you after all the funeral arrangements are done.
Im keeping my fingers crossed for you Denver.
9 BITS
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
This is all GREAT STUFF. And I am so glad that you were able to be there for your W.
That invisible hand?? Get used to it. It's going to be there for awhile. It may seem like it's gone once in awhile, but then it comes out the dark again. DON'T LET THAT TRIP YOU UP. Ok? It very nearly derailed me because I wasn't prepared for that.
Get yourself ready for the next step, buddy. Some say reconciliation is harder than DB'ing. I'm not sure that's true. But it is very hard. You want to jump 100 steps ahead while they are still putting the first foot forward to start step 1. Frustrating.
Denver, I am soooooo happy for you buddy. Still sounds like you are doing great. She is going to remember on those cold, lonely nights how much a good man you were during a dark time. You could have turned your back on her or been a jerk. But, despite everything, you are still there for her when times got tough. I like that. I like that a lot and you should be commended for your efforts. You are my mentor!!!!
Yes, that invisible hand is there and it is very powerful. I spoke to my C about that. Here is some really crappy news that I hope will help, none the less. He told me you will never know that it is gone until it is gone. If that makes sense. In other words, it will disappear and you won't even notice it until it has been gone for some time. And, unfortunately, only she can make it go away.
Good luck, my friend!!!
BITS never walk alone!
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
Another day spent with my W and her family. Grandma's funeral was today. Went to that, sat by W, then went to dinner afterwards. Good day again.
I was feeling extremely impatient with the situation though. I just want a little security that we are formally working on the M. I'm not going to bring it up for a few days though. Want to let her get through all of this stuff with her grandma's passing. I do get a little down when I think about the fact that all of this could still be for naught... The invisible hand is still there of course. But I did put my arm around her today numerous times! She let me, so I guess that's a good sign! Ha!
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I am not going to bring it up for a few days though. Want to let her get through all of this stuff with her grandma's passing. I do get a little down when I think about the fact that all of this could still be for naught... The invisible hand is still there of course. But I did put my arm around her today numerous times! She let me, so I guess that's a good sign! Ha!
Denver, hang in there. Yes, I would definitely not put too much thought or stock into what happens while see is fighting a death in the family. That can be a rough time and she could pull back once it is all over. I wish I had a "Patience 2x4" that you and I could pass back and forth to each other. I think we could both use it sometimes...
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
Patience is not one of my virtues FOBD! LOL... kind of like you and FB! Jeez!
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
