Missher you and I are in exactly the same spot except that my marriage ended on 1/25 with a piece of paper delivered in the mail. Without kids and a separation agreement, my state does it all without a hearing if you ask for it.
I'm dark now.
I'm too hurt and honestly really starting to feel angry at my ex, to be in contact with him now. I don't want to watch him putting his "new" life together, getting an apartment with the OW or even on his own (because she will spend as much time as possible with him because that's already what they're doing). I don't want to watch as he gets this new life with her going, taking the cashier's check he'll get in 2 weeks when my 30 year loan to buy him out takes place.
So I'm dark. I have gone through a lot of the "all or nothing" thinking about suffering that GAG brings up with her post on B. Katie's book, which I have and have read, and put aside, and clearly, I need to go back to it.
Because Katie is right. You and I don't know what the future holds AT ALL. It feels like this whole thing is forever, like a death sentence. But things might change with our exes, and if they don't, then that simply means that our exes are never going to be "right" for our lives again. That's a possibility. I'm more willing to accept that now than before, but I still grieve over the loss every day.
They might also be out of our lives to prepare us for round two with a better relationship, one that will stay "true" and committed.
Thanks GAG for posting what you did and my heart goes out to you, missher, but you and I did our best. There is no more we could have done. I think you already know that and I'm glad to be on this journey with you because you've handled it all so well.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
