Be the Lighthouse

[zengypsy]

Denver - Sorry to hear that you are having a rough few days. Why are we all seeming to have a bad week?

I think you need to re-group. Your imagination is getting the best of you. Your W doesn't want to let you in full force at the moment. Practice patience. Continue to give her space and I know it [censored] big time. I'm a "fixer" too - I think most women are. So when I heard from my H's brother that my H is making bad choices don't you think I wanted to inquire more? Without a doubt. Because I thought if I knew, I could maybe fix it. WRONG!!! And I didn't indilge for more info. If he's continuing to make bad choices and I am making good choices, people will see that and I will be representing myself better each day. Maybe it will even get back to him how much I've changed. It's like good prevails over evil - healthy prevails over unhealthy.

Our WAS are invaded by body snatchers. I don't like the fact that it seems she's taking advantage of your kindness. I think you need to detach a little more. She can't expect you to always be there to pick up her mess. It's not fair to you.

Keep in mind, you cannot jump right into a reconcilation becuase if she hasn't done any work to get herself better it won't matter how much work you've done. The M is destined to only be more of the same. Reconnection first. Start of being friends again. Like Michele says, you have learn to crawl before you walk. it [censored] having things go at snails pace. Patience is not a word that I had in my personal dictionary, but it sure is there now.

I have high hopes for you Denver. I already know that I'm not going to be one of the lucky ones; for now. But I consider myself a very loyal friend and I will always have your back.

(((HUGS)))

[Denver_2010]

That was just awesome Gypsy! Thank you. I feel the same about you and all of the other BITS and BIDETS!

And all very excellent points. I may not always follow the advice that I get from you guys, but hearing it all keeps me grounded, thinking and on my toes!

Lastly, I just want to report that my attitude is much better tonight. Sorry for throwing the pity party last night, as Mach so accurately pointed out.

I know what I need to do... how to do it... but sometimes, it is still hard.

BITS
Denver

[Denver_2010]

NEW THREAD

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2128214#Post2128214

Grit, LIS, and Gypsy... responses to you guys here! Grit... really curious about your response to my response.

Thanks again to everyone for the support, advice, prayers, and good vibes!

[Denver_2010]

whoops... meant to say that my responses to you guys are here on the 'lighthouse' thread... not the new one.

Sorry

[Denver_2010]

I know Mach. The mind doesn't always do what we want it to do though.

Make it a decision....choose it every day...

I know it sounds easier said than done, but it isn't that hard...

That choice, made daily, will become a habit, then a lifestyle....

Consistent actions over time....

I want 2 things. 1) I do want do be a different person and for DB to be a way of life for me, and 2) I want that to be with my W.

I'm with ya on both choices...

Absolutely not to the first question. The second question is a very good one that I'm going to take to heart and use to try and change my attitude around.

Get up, dust off, and get back on bro...

Thanks Mach!

I have!! Feeling much better tonight. Thanks again for the 2x4...

[Denver_2010]

Ok... now seriously,

New thread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2128214#Post2128214