Did you not build the company together? How about suggesting he leave? As for SIL, you can't say what or where your life will be in Feb., so it will be difficult to say yes or no, so no would be the better choice. Do I make sense?
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Thanks Being - Yeah we did build the company together....but as a true MLC'r he doesn't want to have to answer to me for what he spends and how he runs it....so the company has become a negotiating point....mind you he's been sitting on the Agreement more then 3 weeks now....I guess he wants to have a nice Xmas as a "family" before he starts tearing up our assets....As for his sister's visit? ....we will see....
Talked to D about Xmas presents today....she asked me what I have for H, I said just something really small since he is coming over on Xmas Eve...she asked why small?...I replied "he didn't even give me anything for my B-Day (1st time ever) so I'm assuming that's the way he wants it"....D said "Dad said that he would like a new Iphone for his B-Day and he said that maybe you and I could buy it for him"...Really? seriously?...he totally ignores my B-day and expects me to be getting him B-day presents while he is with OW and perusing legal separation? Give me a break....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Omgosh Mila!!! I am laughing at the Iphone b-day gift idea your H had!!!
On your SIL staying with you...I think it boils down to what you are comfortable with and where you are at in Feb. I wouldn't commit to anything at this point! Are they not able to stay at your FIL's???
Anyway, you've got time to think about all of that after the holidays!!!
I hope that you and your D have a very Merry Christmas and a New Year full of new beginnings!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Mila, these guys really are crazy. Just before the bomb and before he left me for OW we took a picture to be framed that I was giving him for his bday. Not surprisingly I didn't collect it, but left it for hm to collect. Three years later, yes, you read it right, he brought it up as a grievnce that I never gave him his bday present! Never mind that he left me and my children, and lived with another woman, in his mind I didn't give him what he was enttled to. (I tought it was both funny and sad)
On the subject of the company, these people have a great sense of entitlement, and they will screw you over if you let them. I did not believe that my h would do the things he did, and is still doing, to get more than his fair share. There are a few who are fair minded, but not many, so please be prepared for an ugly fight, and possibly a distortion of your contribution - very hurtful, but it tends to happen. Even when your lawyer and their lawyer are telling them that something isn't the case, they will go on arguing, and they will spend a huge amount on lawyers, rather than reach a reasonable settlement - sometimes more than the sum being disputed.
Since he may go on a huge spending spree, secure as many assets as you possibly can. If it is there he will spend it, in all probability. My h turned from a careful and prudent man into a crazy spendthrift, and I think many do.
You will likely be accused of being motivated by money, and all manner of unfair things. Remember it is coming from someone who does not see the world straight. It isn't personal, as you know, but it does feel like it.
Despite all of this upcoming, have a wonderful Christmas. Jack 3 beans gave good advice!
Wanting you to buy him an Iphone is absurd! Why isn't he making his wishes known to ow? Let her purchase his bday present for him. It's no longer in your 'job description' by choice of your H.
I'm sorry he's still out to lunch and is still in the "entitlement" mode. I laughed when I read that he wants an IPhone for Christmas. I think it's time he realized that you are not there for just gifts and the grunt work. He should advise his OW of his Christmas wish and she should be the one purchsing the IPhone for him.
I do hope that you and your family have a nice Christmas together. It's tough when you have the mlcer zooming all of the place.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
If there was any doubt before, your H's comment about the iPhone confirms it. He is not in his right mind. Seeking and Snodderly said it all. I can't remember if H is coming over this evening, tomorrow, or both..........but DAZZLE him with your holiday spirit..........and MOST of all, have a WONDERFUL holiday for both you and D!!!!!!!!! This may be the quiet before the storm --- who really knows what the new year will bring??????? ---- but stay in the moment and savor each moment.
Thank you CW, Beatrice, SA, Snodderly, CW & GAG....Merry Xmas to you all of you, hope you all have happy and peaceful Holidays
Yes my H is self absorbed, selfish and totally out to lunch....he can dream on with the iphone... and BTW he has a perfectly good iphone, but it's not the latest model.....
Journaling:
Email yesterday morning from H - "my nephew is in town and wants to see my dad...Would be nice if you wanted to come with us"....replied that I can't already have plans....
I invited him for Xmas Eve diner for 7pm and at 5pm I get an email
"I will come at 6... I hope that’s OK..." I replied "I thought that we agreed on 7pm" his reply "Is 6 a problem...? you don’t have to take care of me, I can watch tv".
He didn't know that I knew why he wants to come earlier...he didn't have the guts to tell me...OW needed his car because she made dinner plans with her H & kids (she changed their plans as well to coincide with my H's dinner at my house)...but her dinner was earlier so she was going to drop H off at my house at six instead of 7pm....Yet again who cares about me...this was what was good for them....
When he came at least I put him to work in the kitchen. We managed to have a nice "family" evening, H had to excuse himself from the dinner table because he got emotional...and second time he started to cry was when he was opening a present from D and reading the card she made for him....
I got H a book and a CD and received from him a "get rich fast" type of a book...oh yes and a Xmas card where he wrote that he loves me in his heart and he is sorry for all the pain he has caused me and hopes that one day I'll forgive him....he wrote a similar apology in D's card "I'm sorry for all the pain my actions last year have caused you"...
Seems like he is sorry for what he's done, but not willing to change anything....
D & I also had presents under the tree from our good friends....and H didn't get any from them this year....that was a little awkward....H seemed hurt, even said yeah they won't even accept my friendship on Face book...Also no presents from my family for him...but my mom sent H's & D's favorite chocolates and D generously gave 1/2 to H to take with him...
BTW I didn't give him any of my Xmas cookies (that he loves) to take with him...that's a perk of being married to me...not to take and eat with OW...
I probably drank to much champagne, so I was a bit tipsy by the end of the evening...but overall I managed to survive it without being upset or emotional....
Today I got a thank you email from H "Thank you for having me last night; D was so happy; and I was very happy to see you"
To recap, H had bags under his eyes, when he came he told me that he didn't sleep the night before that his stomach hurts (that's where he carries his stress) and said that "he is coming apart" don't know what that means...but he ate and drank and I'm sure that the heavy food probably didn't help his stomach...wonder if he was up all night again...oh well OW can take care of him...not my problem anymore...
I'm pretty much booked until the New Year...something happening every day, I either have someone over or going to friends for diner or visiting, even a lunch date Keeping busy, enjoying my friends and living my life
Hope everyone is having a wonderful Xmas Day
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
