Eric, I'll pray for you and your wife. I am very happy that you are healing and past the anger. If she is still there, that's her issue to deal with, and like you said, you can't fix this for her, you can only fix you. You are really inspiring to a lot of us and it's great to see you be able to come to a point where you are asking for us to consider her and help her too.
Good luck with the final divorce prep. I think when that part is all said and done, there will be some feeling of a weight lifted for you.
I thought I'd be dreading that final divorce date but to be honest, I'm really not, because I've accepted that it's going to happen and I'm not going to let it make me lose my progress.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
Eric - Happy Thanksgiving to you too....I wish your wife and all our MLC's all the best in their search for happiness...I really do....I feel their pain and their struggles, masked in anger so thick that they don't see that their happiness was right there beside them if they were willing to put some work into it...but they are unwilling or incapable to understand that right now....
....hope all goes well at the lawyers today...keep up your strength
You are an inspiration Eric...
(((hugs)))
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
It is great that you still recognize that your wife is still in crisis.
I am not far from the same final path that you are on now.
When I see your sitch it is so close to mine that I enjoy reading every part of it. (Inlaws included)
Yup, they still have anger after all of this time. How long are they going to wallow in that? Until they decide they are not going to wallow, that's how long.
Gee, you and I have to be thankful this Thanksgiving that we know that they are not done. How many other H's out there are clueless that their W is even in crisis.
Live my life all angry and bitter, yup not for YOU sir.
That is what to be thankful for your blessings is all about. I am sure that when you are saying grace before that turkey meal this year that you will truly, I MEAN truly be thankful for what GOD has shown you.
You don't need it sweetie. You are making your own life, living by your own choices, walking forward with your head held high.
That doesn't take luck.
It has taken a lot of work on your part, and will take tons more. But you know this.
The anger? We don't see it because they hide it and honestly, don't even acknowledge it to themselves. They do a very good job of looking happy. Remembering they are in crisis can be very hard to do. As you know, I've been dealing with the same kinds of issues. Go figure
I pray that my H “wakes up”, but not for me, not even for the kids. I hope it happens some day for HIM. Because I know the peace that I feel in my heart now that I have clarity of self. I’m a work in progress, don’t get me wrong, but now that I know how good this feels, I want it for everyone. Including my H. Including your W.
You have “clarity of self” (huge amounts of it, and you continue to work towards more) ... and so today I pray you get at least some of the “clarity of situation” you seek. I know how much stress this causes you. Today I pray you get some peace.
And ... because no one knows how these things will go, I also pray you find continued strength to deal with any lack of peace or clarity. That you continue to find the strength to be the man and father that you have become.
I am honored to know you. For real.
(((great big squeezie hugs E)))
You got this.
~ T
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
Hi Eric I'll be praying for your wifey and family You have been through so much already it seems, I dont think anything can knock you down...:) I can see you have so much love in you to give, if wifey is not lucky enough to be on the receiving end of that some day, I know for sure some other lady will be thanking the heavens that she found you
Praying for you and your family Eric. Hope you truly have a Happy Thanksgiving
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Happy Thanksgiving, Eric. And thank you for your post on my Board. I left you a return msg. there.
My thoughts on the anger. I think the anger is that they feel anyone who isn't "with" them is "against" them. It's a common enough human emotion, and we're all very jealous of our parents. I know my D24 didn't like that I invited her H to our Halloween Party. I told her she was divorcing him, not me.
Hope everything went good for you today. My "dead-marriage walking" should be coming up pretty soon, as well.
My sweet friend, thank you for checking in on me. It means more than you know.
Eric, I hope that it was tolerable for you today. I hope that even though I know how difficult it was, that you feel a level of peace. I hope that you remembered the person you have become. But most of all, I hope you realized that all your friends were praying for you and that you felt it.
I pray for all the MLCers, that they find their way, their happiness, their path. But really and truly I pray for those of us who loved them enough to let them go.
You are a special man. You have found the person you were meant to be.
Whatever happens in the future, no one can change that, no one can take that away.
So, I am sure you have many feelings about today. Sort them out, feel them.
)