I've noticed that a lot of us who started posting about the same time here are going through some sort of carthesis. I'm hoping I'm a cocoon turning into a butterfly, that sort of thing.
A beautiful buttefly Pun.
It will happen if you let it.
Eric buddy you are, as always, getting to the right answers.
That is that faith in you. Inside you, of the man you have become.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
Eric, I want to thank you for posting your daughter's questions and the answers which seemed almost benevolent in the face of the cruelty of MLC. I fear this ground will soon be walked by me as my D7 has already asked a few of them. But the path you've laid out is inspirational even as I was getting pi$$ed off while reading. "Go ask your sl*t of a mother" often flashes into my mind, but we both know that outburst is only satisfying until it passes the lips. You have unbelievably firm footing for the next phase of your life. I'm 14 months in and there's no D talk yet, W still cake-eating. But the impact on the kids remains the same. Good to know you are, in fact, human. And that others need to be reeled in from the LBS cycle.
M / W: 43 D8 S6 M 10 years / T 13 years W admitted EA/PA: 10.6.09 Separated in same house 10.6.09 W moved out 2.27.10
Hi Eric, Ive been reading these boards for over 2 years now and have just started posting in Newcomers under Not so new to Newcomers. I have read alot of the postings you have given others and i think you have a very compassionate soul and gift to these boards. I have read some of your sitch but just found the latest going back to the beginning. Im really looking forward to reading about you. If by chance you have an opportunity to read the few entries of mine and reply, I would greatly appreciate your insite. Thanks for your consideration
Hi Eric - I have been catching up on everyone's posts. Good lord if you don't go on the site for a while, you really miss out on a lot of chit that friends are going through.
You know what I find most amazing...How many text messages, posts and phone calls have you given me. And not once did I know about this conversation with Toria. I am sorry. You are so so strong, and I have just sat back and listened to your advice and all this time didn't realize you were going though a tough time. I realize now that this conversation with W and D took place at the end of Oct. and I am sure you are doing okay now, but that conversation will stay with you forever. Just as Toria won't ever forget it either.
You stated that your D is strong like you - thank God. If she has even a little bit of your strength, she will be set for life.
Keep me posted my friend!
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
Eric - I hope you are OK, I know that you had a though day yesterday. I just wanted to thank you for giving so much of yourself to everyone here on the boards while dealing with your own very though situation. You are a very loving, compassionate man and also a very strong man. I have no doubt that you will navigate through this and come out even stronger.
Thinking of you
(((hugs)))
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Just catching up buddy. Bad weekend, huh? I know the feeling. In fact, We All Do. As Mila says, you always give so much of yourself to the people on these Boards, but you can't avoid your own sorrow that way, you know. So, I know you are strong, I know you are a great Dad and a good friend. Swap seats and let some of the US you've been here for be there for you. Just for alittle while, while you need it.
((hugs)) Eric, have a great day.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
I am off to have, what I believe to be the final meeting with the lawyers to try and finalize the terms of my divorce.
I ask that all of you pray for me and my W. I am a little nervous, which is understandable but I also feel a great sense of peace right now.
Interesting, today I spoke to my MIL, who remains faithful that the R between my W and I will eventually come full circle and that we will reconcile. I explained to her that I have totally let my W go. That I am living my life for me and that I wish that my W find the happiness in her life that she is desperately searching for. My MIL understood. She spoke to my W yesterday to ask if my W would be upset that she invite me over for Turkey day. Apparently, my W is quite upset. To quote my MIL…”she is really angry Eric, I have never seen her this angry. It almost like if she could strangle you she would”. I explained to my MIL, that I have not seen this anger and that IMO, the anger she feels is a result of not looking inside herself.
So after I hung up, I thought….Anger? WTF, I have not seen any of it. Isn’t she happy with OM? I mean really, I have stayed out of her way. It make no sense. I am giving her what she wants. Thank God that before I spent too much time dwelling on the convo I was able to snapped my as* back to reality. I realize now more than ever that she is still in a crisis. A crisis that nothing I do can fix. She is still searching for answers the questions she has. OM probably cannot answer them – I guess. No one can. It is sad. She has a long way to go. She is still hurt and cannot get over her own anger. 15 months of doing her best to break me and she still feels anger. WOW. The anger she feels towards herself continues to be projected at me. The only thing I can do is to get out of her way. I feel for her. Maybe one day she will see me in a different light. I hope for my children’s sake she will. Maybe one day she will understand….maybe she will realize that at the end of the day….I truly love her.
As I sit here typing this….I want to say….thank you to my W. Thank you. I refuse to sit here and wallow in pity, pain and sorrow. The women I married would not have wanted me to. Thank you Wifey. Thank you.
Gvien my MIL comments about my W anger. I ask that everyone pray for my W. I hope that she finally gets to a place where she realizes who she really is. I pray that she let go of the anger and begin to live her life the way she really wants to. Not the way that others will tell her to live it. I pray that she find happiness in her life. I pray that she realizes that BOTH of us played a role in this. I pray that she realize the person that she has become. I pray for the family.
So off I go to the lawyers probably another couple of grand given to them instead of my kids, instead of us. Wish me luck guys.
I also want to take a moment to thank everyone and these boards. Take a moment to reflect on where I am and who I have become.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
