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Originally Posted By: WithoutANet
Time to show myself (and him) that I am capable of taking care of myself.



I agree. What sort of "180" can you to do demonstrate this to him? Heck, to demonstrate it to YOURSELF???


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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Originally Posted By: Starsky309
Originally Posted By: WithoutANet


This is such a tough topic. There's very little he can do -- aside from quitting his job.


I guess it depends on how important the marriage is to him, and to what extent he feels you're serious about your boundaries.

Quote:
He knows how I feel, and he says he understands and respects that.


I don't get the impression that he "respects" that one whit. I've read all of your past sitch, and I'm sorry to say, but I don't think he takes you seriously at all.

Starsky


Deep down, I know you are right. I'm too attached, to afraid of losing this M to rock the boat. I'm afraid that he will chose her/the job over me.

Okay, that is a pathetic realization. Time to stop worrying about losing his love, which I don't have, and to determine what *I* want and need from a relationship.


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Now yer talkin'. smile


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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Originally Posted By: Starsky309
Originally Posted By: WithoutANet
Time to show myself (and him) that I am capable of taking care of myself.



I agree. What sort of "180" can you to do demonstrate this to him? Heck, to demonstrate it to YOURSELF???


I need to detach. I need to stop wallowing in the shadow of this relationship and stop demeaning myself through my own grovelling actions. Jeeze, it's been six months, and I don't really feel like I've made any headway. He doesn't respect me because I don't respect myself.

Detaching,dropping the rope, taking care of myself, and putting my needs ahead of this relationship. That would be a start.


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Originally Posted By: WithoutANet
Time to stop worrying about losing his love, which I don't have, and to determine what *I* want and need from a relationship.


...need from a relationship and FOR YOURSELF PERSONALLY.

You can do this.

Cheers ~
Greek


Me45 H46
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Separated and filed 8/08
Moved home 11/08



Happily ever after is one day at a time.
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What are the rules for ML? Should I put put some appetizers, or a sandwich tray? Or should I just keep my awesome new underclothes to myself?


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Originally Posted By: WithoutANet
What are the rules for ML? Should I put put some appetizers, or a sandwich tray? Or should I just keep my awesome new underclothes to myself?


Quote:
I need to detach. I need to stop wallowing in the shadow of this relationship and stop demeaning myself through my own grovelling actions. Jeeze, it's been six months, and I don't really feel like I've made any headway. He doesn't respect me because I don't respect myself.


Why are you leaping into ML with him? Or expecting to?

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Good point. We flirted with each other last night. I would say I'd do it for reassurance that I am still attractive, plus the added bonus of physical connectedness. Really it would lead to confusion and hurt feelings.

I'll keep it under wraps for a while... maybe forever.


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THAT ^^^^ would be a 180 for me.


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Originally Posted By: WithoutANet
THAT ^^^^ would be a 180 for me.


Looks like we have our answer to my post to you at 11:02 this morning then. grin

Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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