No luck there...my financial institution has three branches, period. Actually it has one branch and two drive-up locations. Just a local bank...cannot do updates through Quicken either, I just enter every single entry manually. It's worth it to have good records come tax time.
Things are going well for me, I feel lucky considering what everyone else is going through around here. Yet I have had 'the blues' the past couple days. Not sure why but I was teary a few times over the weekend. Part of it is I think that my niece on Dan's side had her confirmation yesterday...I didn't find out until the night before. Just made me sad I guess...plus it is 'that time' which is always emotional for me.
I think I need a Dan break. Which is good bc he flew out this morning to Toronto for 4 days.
Last week I saw him for carving pumpkins together Sunday, at Nathan's practice Monday, at conferences Tuesday, Wednesday I had to take Sydney's costume to his house, Thursday he surprised me by making me pumpkin seeds and sending them to school with Nathan...
I got a mini reprieve Friday, then Saturday he texted me from our friend Barry's phone bc he had driven over his cell phone w/the tractor. oops. So he said he would not be able to talk to me until he got back from the confirmation, that if I wanted him I would have to 'come find him'...I didn't!
Then yesterday he came over and we walked around trick or treating for 90 minutes with the kids. Yeah, that's a lot of Dan for one week.
Excited to weigh in Wednesday and see what results I will have!
Definitely sounds like too much Dan and not enough BBJ time. Think you need to set more boundaries with the amount of contact? Just asking cuz I know I definitely see a difference for myself that I do so much better when there is less contact.
I know for me it is hard to establish these boundaries of limited contact when you have school aged kids, especially during the school year. There are invariably school functions to attend and just the regular shuttling them back and forth between parents which results in contact time, even if it is limited. I see my STBXW on an almost daily basis and that has made it more difficult to detach. I agree that it is better when there is less contact time, it's just hard to achieve that with kids in the picture and when you live in the same town only a couple of miles away.
<<Then yesterday he came over and we walked around trick or treating for 90 minutes with the kids. Yeah, that's a lot of Dan for one week.>>
I don't think I did anything for 90 minutes with the X under any circumstance.....married, seperated let alone divorced........
I am an old follower of these boards and BBJ. I understand it is difficult but detachment and moving on go hand in hand. This type of proximity does nothing to accelerate the process. Therefore, it is no wonder that I read that you wish you had someone but nothing serious. You are not ready to let anyone get closeto you yet BBJ.....
All our exes are still in our systems to varying degrees.....your guy is firmly entrenched in there and as long as he stays there, you will spin your wheels. Not judging you at all....you still want Dan in your life.....it is obvious to all who continue to read your posts.
John as always you see right into the middle of me! (Oh and Wii you may expect him at any/all of the establishments in Toronto, I have no reason to expect otherwise...)
I do want him in my life, but not as the man he is today. There was a time when this much contact would have been pleasing to me because I would have held hope that it was a chance to 'reconnect'. But I am wise enough to know that it is not the case, and it is not good for me even if he likes it this way. My main issue is just the kids, I want things to be 'right' for them and I try to hard to make sure they see us both together on occasion because they so want us to do things as a family, they tell me so all the time. Howewver doing so much together probably sets them up for disappointment as well.
I don't really see anything on the horizon that necessitates contact, so I am going to stay as silent as possible (re. Dan) and focus on me and the kids and our life.
Also, forgot to mention I got the "Getting Past Your Breakup" book by the Getting Past Your Past author. Made it up to chapter 4 so far. That is prob why I was emotional this weekend. It is such an obv point but one I seem to try to skate around: A fundamental part of getting past the breakup is acknowledging that the 'why' doesn't matter, and accepting that it IS over and will most likely never come back...
I mean, knowing it and knowing it, admitting it to my heart seem to be two different things for me...
I remember my L asking me once why closure mattered. It just did at the time. Now, I think I know I'll never have closure. I think I know why she chose this path. I don't "know" if I'd done things differently if it would have made a difference. Depression is a tough thing to beat.
So the "why" doesn't matter and that's really hard to accept.
You follow my thread. You know I've gotten to the point where I see STBXW maybe once every couple of weeks. That's helped and hurt. It helps because there are vast stretches of time where she's almost dead to me. She doesn't factor into my daily decisions much at all. BUT when I do see or talk to her it really knocks me back and I wonder if I saw her more would I develop thicker skin.
It's tough either way.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
