That if she had to pretend to be a happy wife to make me happy, she would, including sex. I told her that I misunderstood what she said and her intentions, and that have a fake marriage for the kids was a horrible idea; that if she was willing to go to Retro with an open mind and an open heart towards reconciliation, I think it might be valuable to us. She didn't want to work on "us." That sounds harsh, but it wasn't a harsh conversation, just both of us trying to clear the air.
She said that I was confused because I didn't understand that men and woman can be close, emotionally intimate friends without any romance.
Quote:
Pinhead. You should really read my situation. Beginning to end.
PH, Your wife is getting her needs met somewhere else.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
That if she had to pretend to be a happy wife to make me happy, she would, including sex. I told her that I misunderstood what she said and her intentions, and that have a fake marriage for the kids was a horrible idea; that if she was willing to go to Retro with an open mind and an open heart towards reconciliation, I think it might be valuable to us. She didn't want to work on "us." That sounds harsh, but it wasn't a harsh conversation, just both of us trying to clear the air.
She said that I was confused because I didn't understand that men and woman can be close, emotionally intimate friends without any romance.
Quote:
Pinhead. You should really read my situation. Beginning to end.
PH, Your wife is getting her needs met somewhere else.
Well, her exact words were "Men and women can be close friends." This is a debate we've had forever, especially if we see a commercial for When Harry Met Sally. I mixed my reply/validation with what she said in my original post.
Still surprised I haven't gone emo over this. I just feel so much relief.
Coach, does it matter if she's getting attention elsewhere, once I move out? I can't control her. I can gather some intel (though not her cell) even while I'm moved out, but I don't really want to do that. I think it prolongs the attachment.
I also don't know how much interaction we should have after I move out. I'll be driving from my apartment to the house every weekday to prep the girls for school. And on Sunday afternoons, I'll be watching them while W works. Eventually the girls will stay with me Sun/M/T and every other Sat. 50-50.
But my wife would like me to come over for dinners, Monopoly/Movie nights, etc. I don't want to make my kids suffer, but I also don't want to make it like everything is all fine between W and I.
I'd prefer just to see her during exchanges.
Would that be a mistake from either a parenting standpoint, or a DB standpoint?
I want to thank the Academy, my makeup artist, my therapist, my director, and all my adoring fans for their support during the summer. I'll be starting on my latest production: Look Who's Coming to Dinner.
Seriously, all the regulars/veterans see so many folks come onto the boards, and I think maybe become a little jaded; not realizing how much of a lifeline you provide. I spent about an hour reading my first thread, trying to recall what I felt and thought at the time. How pathetic and hurt I was.
It's a different person. Looks a bit like me, talks like me. Sometimes even acts like me. Was like a little kid, wanting it all better; expecting someone else to fix things. Somewhere I learned how to do it on my own, helped by some of the toughest advice you can give someone. Advice that I had to choose to follow or discard.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Because I was applying so much pressure to myself to be the perfect guy, the guy she'd be crazy to walk away from. The strong guy, the confident guy.
Now my strength and confidence is coming from my actions, what I'm doing, not something I'm trying to project. I know that sometimes you have to fake it, but it's a helluva lot easier when it's real.
