Well, just got off the phone with him. He called to let me know he just spoke with the lawyer she will file tomorrow but he told her to let me have all the time I need to respond since he knows I have things coming up in my residency.
I'm sure that will hold until something upsets him...
He is just so matter of fact about everything on the phone. He used to stutter when he used the word D but now it is flowing out of his mouth easily. He did finally offer to give me his car to drive since mine is in the shop and I am only on my motorcycle with the weather turning quite cold. I declined of course. He wanted to know if I had found another way. Told him yes, that I was taking care of a friend of ours house and was using their car while they are out of town.
I can't believe how nonchalant he was considering he was just coming from his lawyer's office from signing the paperwork...
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
No, I don't think I need to have so much direct communication with him. After tomorrow, I won't be in the same area as him so that will make it a little bit easier. The lack of direct communication with him in the past 1.5 weeks has seemed to move things along faster however so I don't really know how to process that or what to do about it.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
I think it's standard to expect that when you back off the A will intensify at first. Typically, exposure and this intensification puts pressure on the A and eventually ends it.
In the meantime, I don't really find it surprising that he's advancing things, particularly when you raised the prospect of the L issue. I expect it may get harder yet for awhile until things flatten out and you get any sense for whether they'll turn around. I'm sure you'll be ok though. You've been very strong to this point. Hang in there.
Documenting a moment of strength... Right now I feel really good. I can remember the things I am not going to miss: being the responsible one, having to feel guilty being at work, never being able to please him, don't have to witness the continuous unauthentic show he likes to put on in front of everyone- always being the center of attention...
I can do this! I deserve better! I am not the one that gave up and took the easy way out!
Ok, just needed to record my strength to reread it when I am in a slump!!! Maybe I can even tackle the Boston cream pie tonight!
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
Glad I made you smile. I am still smiling a fair amount today too. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me? I don't! He is going through his own thing avoiding self-confrontation at all costs. Do I want to be with someone like this? Especially when life really gets hard? Heck no! But... I do worry that I won't ever find someone with integrity like that & have chemistry with that person... it remains to be seen. I do want a family some day... NC with him is making me happy right now.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
Smiling makes you feel happier IMO. Keep doing it! You may make someone else smile and feel happy. Like Edmond. Boston cream pie makes me smile. So there you made two people smile.
HopelessIn Love
M and W:33 Kids M-10 ILYBNIL-4/2/10 Sep: 8/20/10 Back into house: 10/18/10
I just got off the phone with my soon-to-be lawyer. He is on board for helping me "keep the ball in the air" legally so I don't have to worry about him enforcing the respond within 21 days rule. Plus, give him more time to come to his senses even if I'm not sure how I feel about it. Today I feel as though I can at least breathe again and not feel like my life is on hold. I feel like I can wait it out... of course, I feel this way because I have not had to see him!
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
