I learned to let go of myself and hitch my wagon to a common purpose when I got M'ed. I loved my W, and I was both happy and willing to bend my paths so that I could walk parallel with hers. But somewhere along the way I realized she had never done the same. That's where I got lost, and I got off my own life's path to satisfy her contradictory definitions of home, family, M, and obligation.
I could have written this abou t my life letter for letter. I think a lot of us could. It's a hard lesson to learn.
You sound a lot, lot better. Perhaps the post itself was the turning point.
I too thought I was in control of my life and have really struggled with how really little control I do have. It's so hard to just trust that everything is going to be OK.
I hope this is a real new beginning for you.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
It has been a while since my last update. And quite a lot of events have happened since. I just got back from ten days vacation and now trying to catch up on things back at work. I had a good long visit with family and friends. Had lots of conversations although not as many as I had originally anticipated, as it turned out, but interesting all the same. I learned quite a bit more about my brother K's sitch, and observed for myself how people's behaviors and mannerisms communicate more than they let on. I can elaborate a little of that in subsequent posts, but it is a lot more than I can convey here in any great detail.
Most importantly, I spent a lot of good quality time with my S's all the week long. And while I am quite road weary now and I am missing my kids (xW picked them up Sunday afternoon after the family reunion ended -- that's a story in and of itself!), I am doing pretty well all the same.
Incidentally, the "something around the corner" I mentioned to be sensing is still there, although I do note that this is mostly another "cycle" to which I am gyrating to -- still, I feel the road smoothing out much more appreciably this time. The roller coaster is a far cry from what it has been in the past.
