I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[kml]

I've been thinking about this whole age thing a lot recently. My 50 year old ex-H is with a 31 year old woman now - probably a fair match physically, as he's youthful and fit, but.....even so, I would never have dated a guy that age when I was 31. And now that I'm 54, I'm sure not gonna date a 73 year old!

Meanwhile, impossibly young men - I'm talkin' 25-31 - approach me online all the time, and some of them actually are serious about wanting to date me!

Now - I guess, if all I wanted was a casual fling, maybe one or two of them were smart enough that I could enjoy that. But the problem is, flings turn into relationships, and a relationship with that big an age gap means people are NOT at the same life stages, and is usually NOT gonna work out for the long haul.

On the other hand, relatively smaller age differences that didn't used to matter to be, look bigger now. I might have a fun date with a 65 year old, but I look at those guys and think - if I was involved with him, that'd be 10 years less sex in my lifetime!

So - while my ideal would be a guy my age who is physically youthful and virile, a slightly younger guy might be a good fit too. (But not those babies!)

[Virtually_Handsome]

Pretty good analysis there, kml!

I think it does make a difference what life stage you are in. IT doesn't make sense for me to date someone that wants to have babies! Even if it sounded like a good idea now, how good is it going to sound in 10 or 15 years?

[newmama]

whoa...long time no board! I guess it reminded me of what I used to do before the DB forum was around!

Well, I went to a meetup on Saturday, There were 3 men and 3 women. 2 of the 3 men were interested in me so that felt good! But one reminded me of my dad- he looked like him,sounded like him and even acted like him. So you can imagine I was not too interested!

And the other was too....into attention seeking and validation. No thank you! He reminded me of someone I dated 11 years ago... and it is hard to give someone like that the amount of attention they desire!

But hey, at least getting out there was good. We were listening to music--a bluegrass band and a folkey band. The pizza was yumme- great crust- and the beer was flowing but I limited myself to 2! phew!

ANd I started up on match. I have been emailing someone a couple of times now...and responded to a wink. The first fella lives an hour away. But maybe I will discover he is relocating? He has 2 kids and he is a few years older than me. The second fella will probably think I am boring but he cooks, he plays an instrument, he is a tech guy, he wrote some deep stuff, he is devoted to his daughter... well rounded! I don't know...just entertaining myself I guess.

I took S out this last weekend to a pumpkin patch and an apple orchard and we had a lot of fun!

So I am going to check others' threads now...

[smith18]

The pizza was yumme- great crust- and the beer was flowing but I limited myself to 2! phew!

I think that you will agree...we do indeed live in the best place on the planet for the best brew!

As for the match.com, take your time. Keep your standards high. Be picky!

I am in contact with one lady my age that has all the signs of being a great match. We will see if the chemistry is there when we meet. I have a good feeling about this one.

PS... You might want to check out some corn mazes with your son. I live on the west side in Tigard and can say that Baggenstos has a very interesting corn maze each year.

[ClingingToHope]

I was at a huge birthday party and ran into an old high school friend. She had been married seven years, three kids, got divorced, her choice. He worked 70 hour weeks and refused to scale back.

Three years later she met a guy through Match and now they are getting married.

So there's one local success story.

[whatisis]

It's so hard, CTH. You're first instinct is to turn to the person you have shared so much with and who you thought would stand by you for life. When she treats you like garbage at the side of the road, it still hurts...especially when you haven't done anything to deserve it. It's one thing if you screwed around on her or you were hostile and hurtful during the M but when you haven't done anything it's hard to fathom and still hurts. That's the gift of divorce, it just keeps on giving! I think some spouses have to do it this way to appease their guilt, they shut you out while others are there for you as a means of assauging their guilt. Why my wife is doing it, who knows. I'm not going to speculate, all I know is that it's a time when I needed somebody to step up and she did. She's extremely busy with work, as always, so it is a kind gesture to say she'd put it aside for me. She didn't have to. Does it mean anything as far as us? No. A few weeks ago when she had a procedure done she didn't ask me to take her, I assumed her "friend" would but I did pick up our D that evening because she told me she wasn't supposed to drive for the rest of the day.
I'm thinking of starting a new GAL activity, Coloscopy Club. We can have sightseeing trips to different clinics and discuss explosive topics like "Passing gas: What's all the stink about?" It'll be great fun and educational too!