I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[TimeHeals]

Back when I was dating a lot, I remember saying to one young woman (let's call her C) that I was kind of wild back during the 80s, but that the 80s were generally a wild time for 20 somethings. She responded, "I wasn't born until the 80s".

That pretty much summed up the true depth of that relationship, and I knew it right then. That... and I just didn't get a thrill out of going with her to parties at her friends' houses... which was just mostley a bunch of 20 somethings drinking too much (and sometimes "smoking" too much) and being very stupid about it all

I resolved right then and there to finally grow up.

[ImprovedRomeo]

They say love is blind and speaking from experience some late twenties women are as mature as mid-thirties so it's hard to say really. However, if a man purposely seeks out a younger woman that just maybe a compensation thing.

NM, Kerry- you guys are both on FB if you're concerned about violating someone's privacy on a public forum

[flowmom]

They say love is blind and speaking from experience some late twenties women are as mature as mid-thirties so it's hard to say really. However, if a man purposely seeks out a younger woman that just maybe a compensation thing.

Well, there's younger and there's younger. There's the common situation of men being with women who are young enough to be their daughter...I don't care how mature she is, that age difference has a huge impact on the nature of the relationship.

[kat727]

Well you know I have that great example of my old high school boyfriend( age 46) that is infatuated with his 29 year old girlfriend. So much so that they never even dated! Went right from going on a family vacation to moving her in with him. She and her two little boys were staying with her parents in NC. He even drove out there to bring them back to MO.

He had been married 21 years when his wife cheated on him and they got divorced. His dad just had a stroke about a year and a half ago and his two daughters are now out of the house leaving him at home with his 16 year old son. Doesn't matter that I am thinking MLC, he has to go through this on his own.

Even with all of that, she has even given some "procalmation" of what maturity is and how she is working on it. Yep, they aren't even on the same planet, maturity wise.

Maybe I have this upsetting me as it affects me personally.

kat

[smith18]

I believe that my XW now has step sons that are older than her.

[TimeHeals]

if a man purposely seeks out a younger woman that just maybe a compensation thing.

Compensation for what? Speaking only from my own past, the only thing I was compensating for was pretty much having stopped maturing around age 30.

The women didn't get younger; I got older.

[bright_new_day]

So what is the consensus on older women with younger men? Everyone talks about the older man/younger woman, but do you feel differently when the woman is older.....can we say cougar?

[kat727]

i know we have gone there before. I have thumbs down on both. I don't want to date someone young enough to be my son. a few years either way I think will keep you in a good place with each other.

kat

[newmama]

Just checking in--time flies when you are...busy...whether or not it is fun.

So I really do regret saying those things about women in their 20s versus 30s. What was I thinking? GM and Awest and I think even Gatsby are younger than me, in their late 20s or 30.And you ladies are very mature! And I am only 34!! So what makes me so much more mature than a 29 year old? So that was just wrong of me. I don't know why it makes me so mad that the older men go so young when wanting to date.

But I think it has to do with vanity-- I mean I think that is what makes me mad. I think maybe the men who go for the 20 year age difference don't want to admit they are aging so it goes back to compensation. Or they don't realize they have aged and want to be Peter Pan. And when I see terrific women aging well who are passed up, it really ires me. By aging well I mean they work out, are in good health, style their hair, don't wear too much make up, dress stylish but not like a teenager or something...


Flowmom I am just tickled pink for you that you are enjoying an almost beau! Thanks for checking in on me--S is just gradually but quickly turning into a little boy. His independence is so pronounced already! I don't walk around saying "NO. NO. No" (yet) but instead I say "that's HOT!" or "uh-oh, owies!" or " No- YUCKY!" The mimicking is so fun, too!

BTW my student with Autism has been cruising along pretty well this week. I have read his social stories to the whole class (like it was just another read-aloud-- I don't say this is Ricky's special book) and they are interested because the content applies to them as well.

[awest1217]

Sounds like things are going well...although busy, and thanks about being mature because sometimes people get a stereotype about how someone acts compared to their age. I am 28 and even at 20 was more mature than many 30 year olds I knew. I grew up quick because of my dad dying so you can't always judge a book on their age. Although this week has been a week of compliments, I have had three people say I look 3 years younger than I really am...Go me!

Hope you have a good rest of the week and maybe this weekend you can relax? Here's hoping.