I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[courageous wife]

Let's just hope that I only have one H with an MLC...

Well, you could marry a 60yr old and should be safe! lol! jk! I know what you mean! I think going thru this once is enough for anyone!

I will have to check the Windsor's Pilates out!

[newmama]

lol CW! Actually, by the time I do get married again,it might be 20 years and a 60 year old would be appropriate! Hope not but I definitely will not be in a rush to get married again.

I do want to have a boyfriend in the next 6 months or so!

Well, last night I woke up around 2 and was kind of chilly. So I thought maybe S was cold, too. I got up to cover him with his blankie and discovered he had thrown up all over! Poor guy. He was curled at the foot of his crib, away from the puke.

Of course I stripped the bed and changed his PJ's. It made sense- the day before he was not eating much. Yet he was in a good mood all day and played just fine! Wonder what that was all about?

Today I spent 7 hours in my classroom! Sorting stuff, setting up the library, cleaning stuff, organizing teaching materials. I am exhausted and don't think I will be working out tonight after all, lol!

[newmama]

whoa. I texted my stbxSIL to see how she is doing and asked if stbxh brought S by to visit his mom... she is visiting out of town. SIL said that he invited his mom to come visit him (at his house?). I texted to see if she would be willing to go...but am waiting to hear back.

I honestly don't know if I could see her or talk to her if she goes.

[newmama]

She replied and said her mom said she was willing to go if that was the only way she could see her son and grandson. SIL said that she was too bitter to go.

She said her mom asked "what would you do if it was your son?"

And I said if it was S, I would tell him that I love him but refused to visit him with the whore. That he could see me separately and bring S. But that I would not condone his selfish destructive choice. I said it would be a short term sacrifice for a long term gain.

Then I said I would always make sure she and her mom would be able to see S, if they couldn't see him.

[courageous wife]

Hi NM

Hope S is feeling better!

I am torn about H introducing OW to his family...he hasn't to anyone except the kids yet. DIL says she refuses to meet her until the D is final and that SS is not ready to meet her either. I am lucky in that!

I don't want to be the one that gets "in between" the family members. I am glad that you are offering for SIL and MIL to see S...

[newmama]

CW thanks for replying. I am just so hurt is all. I wish more people had balls.

Well, I sold my first craigslist item today! I posted it at 12 and sold at 3! It was S' paknplay...went for $75, purchased for $230!

I posted a few other baby items. If I get nothing in a week then I will lower the prices by $5.

Also, I went to the staff BBQ and brought S. A LOT of work to watch after him and feed him and me and try to talk to grown ups and try to comfort/console him. But I realized that I have been doing it all by myself all this time, so I have it down.

I shared that I was getting a divorce with one other person--it gets easier to share each time, I must admit! But she asked if I was happy or not. I said no, it wasn't my choice. She started to ask about it and I just said "well, I'm not ready to talk about it yet."

Easy peasy.
Going back to work tomorrow- yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!

[courageous wife]

Welcome back to the workforce NM!!! I hope your day goes well!

I know what you mean about feeling hurt! I am dreading that day that H's family meets the OW!

[ImprovedRomeo]

NM, that sucks about your H asking your MIL to come see your S at his place where OW lives? I agree that she should ask him to bring S over to her house instead. But you know what? unfortunately expecting the ILs to do the right thing is setting yourself up for a disappointment. I used to have a pretty good relationship with my ILs...and overnight they changed favoring STBXW 100%- it was hurtful but I guess it's understandable. At least in your case they try to act neutral?

The BBQ sounds like fun! Have a great work week!

[awest1217]

Have a good first day back at work!

[TimeHeals]

Hey NM.

Let's face it. Some things that happen in our live are unpleasant, but it's all in how we use them and view them.

You cannot change your past, but you can change your attitude toward the past.

When I was 22 years old, I was paralyzed for 2 months. I spent a lot of time thinking in my hospital room, and I spent a lot of time reading, meditating, and developing positive imaging and relaxation techniques.

One day when my neurologist was visiting me, he picked up some of the books I was reading and looked at them, and then said, "This is some pretty heady stuff you're reading. What did you do before this happened to you?".

I answered, "I was pipe fitter working on piplelines". My neurologist then said, "I don't imagine too many pipefitters read these kinds of things. You should go back to school and use your talents more wisely".

I didn't go back to school until three years later, but that stuck with me as did the meditation and relaxation techniques and the sense that "if I can survive that, I can survive anything".

Today, when I think back on that time, I think of it as something that happened where I took a long look at who I was and resolved to build a better life and never let the little things bother me much. It changed my life forever, so I am glad it happened.

You can't change the past, but you can change how you look at it, and that can change your future.