One thing I've embraced in the last two months is that nothing is truly weird when it comes to our spouse's behaviour. From your wife's ass rubbing to my wife's runway modeling lingerie, to John's wife waxing and swapping out panties. If there's anything sexual involved, it'll be weird as hell.
What is so weird about a woman using sex to try to control a man? C'mon, guys, it's been around for thousands of years!!!
4) she also gives me little desserts when I come over around dinner time
How often does she invite you over for dinner so that you can share a meal with your children and her?
Giving you little desserts almost sounds as if she's giving you treats for being a good little doggy, it's not a nice comparison to be made but something that sticks out to me.
Yes, that does sound funny. Maybe to clarify a little -- before we were separated, I used to complain when she would bake desserts and harp on her about it -- that "she" was making me fat and criticize her for baking so much. This was dumb of me in so many ways because she loves to bake as a way to stress relief for herself, because I could control myself (rather than her), and because the foods she makes are gestures of affection for us and the kids. She brought it up repeatedly as an issue between us. So a 180 for me has been for me to praise her for how well she bakes and that she is doing something she enjoys. The "little desserts" she gives me are things she baked that I previously would have rejected or criticized her for and now I eat appreciatively.
All of y'all's GENERAL points, though, of what has W done for ME, what intimacy steps has W taken towards ME, what pursuit or steps towards family re-bonding has W taken towards ME are well-taken though. I need to think about this some. There have been some instances of baking and some opening of her heart and emotional world to me. It's clearly true though that the balance is much more on my end. I have justified this as amends for my past neglect and EA's, but it's the pendulum issue. By being too extreme, I may be doormatting myself.
She is still in a selfish "woe is me" WAS mode. Frankly, she is a little overwhelmed with life. She rarely cooks meals for herself and the kids and usually gets takeout or super easy meal (mac and cheese) because she is too stressed with work, surgery, kids, life.
My lower back and a$$ actually could use some massaging now -- all wound up from spinning. I will try to hit her up for some of that tonight and see what happens -- likely no way jose pyrotechnics.
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
If more a$$ rubbing is requested, then would be a better, more self-respecting answer be like yeah, mine needs to be rubbed too can you rub mine some then I'll rub you back good?
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
W and I have anniversary date coming up. My IC is advocating that I ask her out to dinner for it. Says he believes there is a chance she might be ready for me to ask her out on a date based on her sort of inviting me over for that BBQ and says if I DON'T ask her out or recognize it in some way that she may misinterpret it as me not caring.
Seems to go against DBing -- no dates, etc., but I wonder if she MIGHT be willing to go on an anniversary dinner? Thoughts?
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
Considering the stage you are in, I think it would be okay. Keep it NON-MUSHY tho -- no romantic hotel getaways!! Maybe a comedy club and dinner? Tickets to a favorite artist in concert?
Yeah, I took Greek to see James Blount, while we were seperated and D looming. He sang this song.
Quote:
Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? 'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun, Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won. So I took what's mine by eternal right. Took your soul out into the night. It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care. You touched my heart you touched my soul. You changed my life and all my goals. And love is blind and that I knew when, My heart was blinded by you. I've kissed your lips and held your hand. Shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you.
Chorus (2x) Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when I wake, You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd be the father of your child. I'd spend a lifetime with you. I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine, And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you.
Chorus (2x) Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine. In mine when I'm asleep. And I will bear my soul in time, When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Chorus (2x) Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Then he quipped, "I never really liked her anyway."
It was the longest four minutes of my life, I couldn't wait for that song to be over.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Yeah, I took Greek to see James Blount, while we were seperated and D looming. He sang this song.
Quote:
Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? 'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun, Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won. So I took what's mine by eternal right. Took your soul out into the night. It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care. You touched my heart you touched my soul. You changed my life and all my goals. And love is blind and that I knew when, My heart was blinded by you. I've kissed your lips and held your hand. Shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you.
Chorus (2x) Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when I wake, You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd be the father of your child. I'd spend a lifetime with you. I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine, And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you.
Chorus (2x) Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine. In mine when I'm asleep. And I will bear my soul in time, When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Chorus (2x) Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Then he quipped, "I never really liked her anyway."
It was the longest four minutes of my life, I couldn't wait for that song to be over.
Coach,
I'd never heard that song before. Based upon your post, I YouTube'd it, and listened to its haunting sound and lyrics, and just downloaded it on my iTunes.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
