And really, I feel terribly sorry for the person that might actually have to deal with my insanity on an intimate level.
OK, let's cut that out right there! I see the things you post, the thought you put into it. The caring you show. I have no reason to think that you would be any different in a relationship with a person that you cared about, and who cared about you!
You don't have to stop thinking, but overthinking is probably not the best way to go! Sometimes following your instincts isn't the worst thing in the world.
Last edited by Virtually_Handsome; 08/20/1009:58 PM.
I guess I mean that even if I care about somebody I still get VERY freaked out way too easy.
Like it's very easy for me to get FREAKED out by somebody who cares about me saying "relax, have a glass of wine and take a bubble bath". Nice, right? A thoughtful relaxing suggestion. In my mind I am thinking I hate bubble baths, sitting in a tub of scalding water is not relaxing and "me" is a Belvedere on the rocks with a twist so how on EARTH could *anybody* think making such a suggestion would be good for ME/
Well, I will tell you why - because when somebody gets too close (that is a boy) I push them away before they have the chance to learn that.
(((((CG))))) Don't let it upset you! It's a learning process, in both directions! You are learning about them, and they are leaning about you! When they suggest the glass of wine, and bubble bath, you say, I think I will sit on the deck with a Belvedere on the rocks, with a twist! The next time, you would like to think they noticed and learned. If not, well, that's a clue, too!
I guess that is what scares me - the learning process. I have to teach myself not to run like the hills during the learning process when one thing is put out there that is not me. Because maybe it's not THAT bad even though it's not ME.
Well, I found that recipe the online, tablespoon and all! I think that would be a Flaming Dead Nun. I would try a shake of Tabasco, and work up from there!
One of my closest male friends and I have been talking a lot about dating. He just recently started dating again post-divorce. He often texts me, sometimes during dates even, to get my advice/take from a woman's perspective.
One thing I noticed is he is eager to fall for someone, to find real lasting love. He is afraid he will give his heart to someone and get hurt. Conversely, I just want to go out and have fun with a guy, laugh, talk, joke, etc. I want to ease back into dating. My kids are so young I don't want to settle down and have a serious R yet. I want a partner in crime, so to speak. Someone to go to football games, hiking, dinner, whatever with who I can laugh with and of course, I have to want to kiss him. My fear is the opposite of my friends--I am afraid I will find someone "too right" for me, who wants to be attached at the hip when I just want to have fun and live a little.
Does that make sense? So when we enter the dating pool there is always a chance a girl like me meets a guy like my friend, and vice versa. Two great people who are just looking for different things. Another time, another place, it may be a great pairing. Suppose that's why they say Timing Is Everything.
