M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
When I got home, I mentioned that I was really interested in learning swing dancing, and thought it would be a blast. She said she wasn't interested in spending money on it right now, and then a CB comment that "you couldn't do the lifts..." Such negativity. Not very attractive at all.
Got the babysitter squared away and then headed off to our Ds 3rd grade meeting with the W. It was nice, but boring. A beautiful, single blonde mother was there, getting all the attention from the fathers...
Wife had made dinner, which was nice again. After we got home, we watched a movie with popcorn together, she fell asleep towards the end.
Woke, up, saw that she had been cleaning her wedding ring. Doesn't mean anything, probably just wants them to look nice.
Hard to make "progress" when there's no sign of progress. As if she's waiting for the MC to wave a magic wand on Monday. I see it as we've wasted another week of our lives living as glorified roommates. Maybe I'm just in a pessimistic funk the last two days.
I think you are keeping expectations low which is a good thing, from the wedding ring cleaning to the MC "waving a magic wand". I think you are mentally in a good place.
Now the wasted another week comment does sound pessimistic. You are not mind reading but you are looking into a crystal ball and my friend they don't exist.
Only stress about things you can change and not events that have not even happened.
When in a funk, do something off the wall. I usually try something outside of my comfort zone.
One example is, instead of me just picking my kids up from summer school a few weeks ago I stayed there on the playground and played tag with ALL the kids in the school/mine included for half an hour. I was the full time "tagger!" And boy did everyone have fun and I was so tired!
My kids said their friends talked about what a fun dad they have for days.
Last edited by Chuck66; 08/20/1001:00 PM.
Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21 Bomb June 18, 2010 I filed D July 20, 2010 W filed counter suit Aug 2 Rings came off Aug 5, 2010
I mentioned that I was really interested in learning swing dancing, and thought it would be a blast. She said she wasn't interested in spending money on it right now, and then a CB comment that "you couldn't do the lifts..." Such negativity.
So her one little comment threw you off you game? It's her opinion don't take it personal, she could have been saying because she was concerned for health reasons.
"Woman, you have no idea of what I am capable of." That's how you respond to her telling you what Pinhead can do. Never let your woman define you that's your job.
Quote:
Not very attractive at all.
How do you think she felt?
Quote:
Hard to make "progress" when there's no sign of progress.
"When there is no wind, row."
Quote:
As if she's waiting for the MC to wave a magic wand on Monday. I see it as we've wasted another week of our lives living as glorified roommates. Maybe I'm just in a pessimistic funk the last two days.
Lead.
Have you checked out Martin Seligman and Learned Optimism?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
"Woman, you have no idea of what I am capable of." That's how you repsond to her telling you what Pinhead can do. Never let your woman define you that's your job.
SPOT on! And that extends beyond her, too. Never let anyone define you.
PH is a recovering stalker. He can't seem to stop trying some new method to pursue and see if maybe now "this" will impress her and make her realize she just can't live without his undying love and pursuing.
As I could have told you.. The "dancing" pursuit method wasn't going to work. She saw right through it like some of the rest of us could.
I mentioned that I was really interested in learning swing dancing, and thought it would be a blast. She said she wasn't interested in spending money on it right now, and then a CB comment that "you couldn't do the lifts..." Such negativity.
So her one little comment threw you off you game? It's her opinion don't take it personal, she could have been saying because she was concerned for health reasons.
"Woman, you have no idea of what I am capable of." That's how you respond to her telling you what Pinhead can do. Never let your woman define you that's your job.
Quote:
Not very attractive at all.
How do you think she felt?
Quote:
Hard to make "progress" when there's no sign of progress.
"When there is no wind, row."
Quote:
As if she's waiting for the MC to wave a magic wand on Monday. I see it as we've wasted another week of our lives living as glorified roommates. Maybe I'm just in a pessimistic funk the last two days.
Lead.
Have you checked out Martin Seligman and Learned Optimism?
I said almost exactly what you wanted, Coach. I told her that she'd be surprised at what I could do.
She's very negative generally, and that's a drain on the PMA of everyone around her.
I don't know what she felt. Maybe that I wouldn't follow through, that maybe I was pursuing her, I don't know. Can't mind read her, and whatever intuition about her that I used to have is gone. She was probably afraid of the idea since it would just be the two of us doing something new and unknown; exactly why I would like to do it.
I did read about Learned Optimism last week when you posted it, and found it really interesting. Thoughts -> actions -> emotions is pretty powerful. I wish that I could explain the idea to her, but I think she'd feel it's me trying to change how she feels.
She had expected me to go workout, and said that if I didn't, she might go into work for a few hours. I was too tired to workout, and started a good movie that she actually watched instead of playing solitaire. We shared popcorn. So a movie night. Guess that's rowing a little bit. Just need to keep a PMA!
I think mentally you are in an awful place. You are stressing about a relationship as if it was the zombie apocalypse.
3 weeks ago you were trying to get her in bed. 2 weeks ago you asked her to leave cause she wouldnt get in bed. now you are bouncing between noticing unobtainable single moms and unobtainable explanations for why your wife does something.
maybe she is doing it just to mess with your head to see if you flip or flop this time. maybe she is scratching her head just like us wondering why you cannot be stable with your emotions and tought patterns.
now you "impatient" awaiting, hoping this "neutral" 3rd party can solve the problems you should be able to solve yourself. What if they say, "your wife should move out and find herself," are you going to tell us this MC was awful because they repeated what your wife has been telling you all along?
I said almost exactly what you wanted, Coach. I told her that she'd be surprised at what I could do.