I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[CityGirl]

Well, we all need something to marvel at!

<read the book, you will love it!>

[gatsby11]

just lurkin! and now popping up to say that i am. hee hee!

[newmama]

Gatsby! You have been hiding in the dark this whole time? lol!

Mrs. A- did you wade through the pages of posts to see that we are chatting tonight? I guess I could not mention the ring. I don't know! I do know that next week he doesn't have his kids.

I think I want to know if I will hear from him again (one way or the other) after he talks to his exG. I want to ask somehow.

Oh, I mean his "looming exG thing..." as he put it.

[newmama]

CG- what book? are you teasing or is there a book?? I would totally read it!

[newmama]

am killing a little time here because zoobrew got back late from the trip to the river and is calling me back!

Well, I wanted to say that the other day stbxh mentioned to me that he couldn't find "otter pops" for S. Today I was at the store and happened to come across some. So I picked up a box and then gave it to him when he picked up S.

He was very touched. what felt AWESOME was that I was not doing it for any other reason (i.e. not like before) than because I knew he was looking for them and I found some.

Also what was awesome was that while he was dropping S off and talking to me, a very audible "doorbell" sound came from the other room...I programmed my texts to make that sound! So we both heard that I received a text, lol!

I was discussing the schedule with him for next week and said "thanks for being willing to take S so often overnight these days. I don't mean to ask too often..." and he said "oh, it is totally fine! I love to see him as much as I can!"

heh heh heh.....!

[newmama]

Ok so this is kind of how the conversation went:

+I was hoping to keep the conversation light and flowing and still address the issue as to why I didn't call him and he didn't call me. It seems that on the phone (these last few times) he is more serious and not too playful. However, when I saw him last, he was totally playful (in person). What I am saying was that I was hoping for a playful conversation but it felt kind of akward, instead! (!) He wasn't in a talkative mood.
I REALLY hate talking on the phone when the other person doesn't want to talk. If I don't want to talk, I say "well, sorry, but I am kind of tired. Can we talk later?" or something.


+Apparently he didn't call me because he thought he offended me when he didn't hear from me; he expected I would call him next (guess he takes turns?) but I didn't press him on it. We aren't "in a relationship," so why bother? (a freedom of the fling thing)

+he appreciated that I was giving him space when I thought he was talking to his exG.

+the reason why he hasn't met with his exG is because they aren't supposed to talk until 12 anger management classes have been completed...she is to contact him. He has heard through her family that she has one more to complete, so he should be hearing from her soon. He still has no clue as to whether they will reconcile at this point until he talks to her to see if she is willing to work on her problems.

(I could NEVER EVER EVER live with someone who is volatile and angry and wants to argue all the time....and he could never live with someone who cheated on him! to each his own...lol?)

+I asked that he please just text or call me to let me know what happens with her (if he talks to her) because regardless of whether we dated or slept together, I still am curious to know the outcome! He said he would.


+and I FORGOT to bring up the ring! But I truly have NO qualms now about contacting him via text or phone now. In fact, I could give a hoot about the rules of who calls who at this point! So, I am going to the beach here in a couple days and don't need my ring. Sometime between now and Sunday I will send him a text. At that point, I will be able to tell if we will see each other (one last time?) or not but I will just directly ask for the ring back. He doesn't have his kids next week so he has more time.

Ok I tell you guys way too much. I am CHOOSING to fling or not to fling but I am wincing from what I suspect will be 2x4s coming my way! I have my riot gear on...

[WhatNow]

Fling away!

Here's my take on this guy...FWIW...

He is the type that does not show how he feels. Keeps his emotional distance. This keeps everyone in his life guessing where he stands and where they stand with him. Someone with this kind of fear of intimacy is very hard to get along with. It would also explain his GF's anger. She may be resentful and picking fights just to get him to emote.

Not good R material but *&^% buddy hot!

[newmama]

Forgot to add...he did explain that he didn't contact me because "he's new to this...doesn't know how it works!"

I feel like I get to be the boss. Maybe we will have one of those dominant submissive things, lol!

[newmama]

WN!! HAHAHA! *&%$buddy hot is correct!

How did I meet ANOTHER man like my stbxh who keeps his emotional distance????

and FWIW, zoobrew was adopted (from birth) and still has some issues around that.

Oh and her mom said she was like this her whole life...that is why I doubt 99.9% that she would be capable of change. And zoobrew said that he also walked on eggshells because for awhile he thought he was the one doing something to make her mad. SHe was with him during his divorce. They were friends first and then grew to more. He felt guilty for pushing her away. Ok that's enough info!

[WhatNow]

As long as you keep your emotional distance, have fun. BUT...OTOH..he may become intrigued by you since you are not pursuing him. He probably doesn't know how to handle another distancer!