I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[newmama]

zoobrew DID tell me the next morning that I left the ring!

also I DON'T know what's going on with his exG, and I never wanted an R-- lol, GM, sometimes I read too fast, too!

OK, I will blend the advice.Wait a few days (Wed) and then text him.


Thank you, ladies!

[Lotus]

Yes, get the ring back. It could certainly be misinterpreted if the GF finds it. just get it back. You can be coy later.

[newmama]

Well, at the time, he had texted this message: "you left a few items here..." and then I responded but didn't say anything about picking them up. BECAUSE at that time, I thought maybe he would have to bring them over to my house! I didn't intend to leave them, but since I did I thought why not use that as an excuse to come get them.

GM- I have been with dogs and good guys...both are conflict avoiders. I suspect zoobrew got back with his ex but doesn't know how to tell me or something? or is worried he "used me?" even though I made it clear that I wanted to be used!

So I dont' feel like waiting a couple more days after all. Last time, I had to be the one to initiate contact so I am getting the growing feeling that has to be the case again!

[ImprovedRomeo]

NM,
To me that's a red flag...I guess I wasn't expecting him to be so quick to get back together with his ex and just before he did he made the move on you. I know you weren't planning to have a R with him but I was a bit surprised to hear this. And now he won't contact you to even return your stuff.

How about:

"I would really like to have my ring back this week. Goodluck with everything."

"I'll be in the area tomorrow please let me know when will it be a good time to pick up my ring from you. Thanks"

[newmama]

Thanks IR! Again, I have no clue if he got back with her! I just am wondering. Don't worry about red flags- it's a good thing I
wasn't wanting something more.

So, here is what I am about to send...I will wait 5 minutes to get your all's opinion and then my patience will be up! :

Hi Zoobrew! How's it going? I would really like to get my ring back soon. I was thinking maybe we could meet somewhere or you could even mail it to me.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Are you comfortable with him mailing it to you? I wouldn't.

Meeting someplace is a good idea but perhaps make a suggestion so it has more weight. Like a particular mall or some place open/public- not some romantic restaurant.

[CityGirl]

After you get your ring back I would delete this guy from your phone and that be that. He doesn't sound like much of a gentleman at all. In fact, he sounds like he likes the thrill of the chase when it suits him yet he can't offer you the common courtesy to contact you about returning an item YOU left behind when YOU went to his house. Very rude given what has happened IMO.

I am glad you don't feel bad but I would not have much to do with this man again!

[newmama]

OK I just read a post in newcomers about how men appreciate humor to lighten the situation SOOO

Here is what I sent:
"Hi zoobrew! How's it going? I do need to get my "single woman" ring back soon-except now it is my "get lucky" ring,lol! You could mail it to me if that's easier:)"

And then I got a text with a "!" in the message and it said
"She's ALIVE! Alive I tell you!I thought I upset you somehow."

So I replied "no! I just thought you had a lot on your plate last week and thought...? I don't know! So how are you?"

and we shall see what he says!

[newmama]

I am putting this whole text exchange up verbatim. Again, I really really don't think he is a scumbag. But I am definitely going to communicate directly with him on the phone later- no more stupid guessing and crap. I will still be smart, don't you worry.

He replied "Thanks for the consideration. My plate is pretty full this week with the kids and this looming exG thing. Other than that been enjoying the hot weather. How about you?"

(what????he didn't talk to her LAST week??? I thought I heard him tell me that!)

So I reply "Well, S has been sick but is better. Can you talk later tonight?"

him:"sure"

(now, I am trying to be more direct so that I am not coming across as wanting "TO TALK")

me:"Great! is after 9 all right with you? btw, by "chat" I mean having a pleasurable conversation...er..that's not what I meant...see why the phone is good?;) "

him:"after 9 is great. kids down between 9-9:30"

me:"ok then I will call you after 9:30! Stay cool today :-)"

him: "and stay thirsty my friend(s):

me:"lol! aren't you clever-no, make that "the most interesting man in the world!" but you KNOW I am parched...;)

him:lol too funny!

sigh.....I am going to tell him that I swear he said he was talking to her last week...and that is why I didn't call him because I kind of thought he would call me to let me know what happened...but I didn't want to ask in case it was gruesome or in case I would be disturbing their "make up" sessions.

Something like that.

[CityGirl]

Let me ask you this...

Now that you know he didn't talk with his exGF last week and he still didn't call you what do you think? Do you find it odd that each time the two of you talk or spend time together it is initiated by you? Maybe I am REALLY far out of the dating/fling loop (probably so, lol!) but why do you keep making more effort while he sits back and lets you? I am really just curious?!

I am all for certain forms of delicious torture but *that* kind of torture needs to be two sided IMO!