I actually contemplated feigning a heart attack to get out of the restaurant but figured that would not be a plausible option as he was a doctor. The bathroom had no windows (I looked) and I silently prayed *somebody* would call me and tell me my house was on fire (not all of it but enough to have to run home!).
On paper he was great - very nice, smart, funny, good looking and blah blah blah.
LOL! I love that you did a recon of the bathroom, CG!
Some folks do want to date immediately following D and some don't. I guess it just depends on the person and there is nothing wrong if you don't want to.
I personally am with you. "Dating" sounds like a joke to me at this point in my life. I've never really dated anyone before H. Sure I had my first/puppy love, then sort of dated a guy but wasn't really into, more of a friend, and then stbx. I'm 29 and spend 7 years with him. Almost all of my 20s. That isn't as long as your M/R but to me it seems quite long.
So I think it's completely normal to come out of a R, especially a M and not WANT to go the R-route again. In the future, perhaps, but right now, your thinking makes total sense to me.
Newmama, I do't think your dating is bad at all. You seem to have great experiences thus far and it's obvious we're all at different places. If you are able to get into it, go for it. More power to you.
p.s. Timeheals, how come my honesty isn't refreshing? Is it because I have had different experiences with dating (mostly positive) than you?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Oh and S still is running a fever. I just checked with one of my friends from the playgroup and she said her daughter was battling the same symptoms for a few days...just the basic stuff (tylenol, TLC, fluids) seem to be the key.
He slept for 13 hours!!!
Last edited by newmama; 08/12/1002:59 PM.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
p.s. Timeheals, how come my honesty isn't refreshing? Is it because I have had different experiences with dating (mostly positive) than you?
LOL. You crack me up. Feeling defensive?
You have to remember I was reading your posts when you quickly shifted from jumping through hoops trying to win back your STBXH to wanting to date.
Call me skeptical, but I don't trust that sudden shift. I am not judging you (I would be guilty of total hypocrisy if I pretended I had never done something similiar).
We ARE, however, on different paths
PS. Hope your son is feeling better soon.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 08/12/1003:15 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Listen, you guys are all wrong. Let me tell you a story...what are we talking about again?
Oh right dating...well my view on it is we all have a different outlook on life. It doesn't make one right or the other wrong. I do believe that being with someone is a great experience when you do it for the right reasons and with the right person. Otherwise you wouldn't be on this board in the first place. They say the most selfish people in the world are the ones that commit a suicide and the second most selfish people are the ones that stay single (and the third are probably the WASs). Now don't get your P word in bunches it's just someone's opinion (probably some Phd psycho).
So while NM is feeling empowered and good about herself through this experience doesn't mean you have to feel the same way about it. Nor does it mean anyone's wrong or right. We're all different and that's what's so cool.
I always remember what my mom used to tell me: "Romeo, you're not weird, you're just special"
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
They say the most selfish people in the world are the ones that commit a suicide and the second most selfish people are the ones that stay single (and the third are probably the WASs). Now don't get your P word in bunches it's just someone's opinion (probably some Phd psycho).
I always remember what my mom used to tell me: "Romeo, you're not weird, you're just special"
Originally Posted By: KerryK
Originally Posted By: ImprovedRomeo
I always remember what my mom used to tell me: "Romeo, you're not weird, you're just special"
I think that Forrest Gump's mom said the same thing.
I never took this discussion to be a "who is more right" type thing. It is what it is. People have different ideas of how to go about creating the life they want. One is not better or more acceptable but when it comes to rebuilding after a divorce certain "things" need to be considered.
Honestly, I am at a point in my life where I have ZERO interest in playing games. NONE. I will not do it. If I spend some time with a person and it doesn't feel like I want it to feel then I am not going to continue for "dating practice" or anything else. I certainly would not want somebody to do that to me!
When you reach a certain age and you start dating again there are many factors that were not present the first time around (divorce, ex spouses, children). The people you meet in your 20's tend to be like people in their 20's! Now though there are lots of other things that do need consideration. Most single people in their mid thirties have been in some sort of long term R if not a marriage which means they have gone through a divorce. It's just a total different set of rules in my opinion. I hesitate to use the word rules so perhaps I should say circumstances.
I simply feel for me that dating should be out of sheer desire to want to spend time with a person and not the IDEA of a person.
I will never be in a R again with somebody that cannot and will not communicate. It reduces my quality of life too much. That is really number one on my list.
Honestly, I am at a point in my life where I have ZERO interest in playing games.
Cougar:
An attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill.
