Rocked, You are an inspiration. Truly a rock. Have a great weekend! Romeo,
Originally Posted By: improvedRomeo
This is the feeling that catapults you out of the grief and mourning phase. You get to this phase when you are ready to see and accept what's in front of you and not what you thought you had in front of you.
Dead on, man. I printed this out
Peace,
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Well my friends .... back from a weekend of fun, sun, and wine
It was good for me... no demands on me... just time to unwind and relax and some good, supportive conversation with someone who loves me.
I missed the kids, though. I guess that is something you have to get used to isn't it? Any advice or tips from anyone who has been there are welcome. I am finding it hard to go from 20 years of family life to periods of time when the kids are away from me and I am not involved. Maybe there is no way to adjust to something like that, other than that you just do get used to it over time. But, that part sucks.
I am noticing H is having difficulty getting used to losing his best friend. He noticed me spending time talking with the kids about how their weekend was and he kept trying to talk to me too. Can you believe it? I just did my own thing, focused on the kids and went to bed early. What part of his decision to divorce me does he not get? Sheesh!
Also some sadness for me with starting to pack to move out. How do you dismantle 20 years of life together? I came accross old cards from H I had kept. It was heart breaking. He was saying as recently as 2007 how I still "took his breath away" and how proud he was of all the milestones we had passed together. So sad.
Anyway, a new day today.... busy with work and continuing to pack and focusing on the kids.
KR, love the attitude you've are wearing these days, what's it called
Yeah not having kids around is tough but you get used to it and you slowly even start to carve out a little fun life for yourself when the kids are away. I mean it's all about making the best of the situation- not that anyone of us wanted to become a part time parent but it is what it is.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Hi hun, glad you had a good weekend break! Escaping the kids well that takes getting used too, ok mine just grew up rather than D but its not that different honestly! But I do know how strange it is you spend every waking hour with them, looking after them, washing cooking etc and then hey presto in my case he passed his driving test aged 17 and your redundant!
Total weirdness sets in.. you keep getting up to go fetch them only to realise they are bringing themselves home lol!
Best tip use your detaching skills.. I used to get into all sorts of arguments with S, then I started DB'ing him too... what a response I got, he loved it because he felt respected that I was allowing him to make his own choices, but he knew if he needed too I was there! Its painful at first but it works brilliantly and we have transended from teenager/mum to young adult/mum relationship a lot better than I thought it would be!
Look at as an opportunity not a failing and knowing how much you love you kids Im sure you will see them through to adulthood fabulously by setting the same fantastic example you usually do!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
