I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[newmama]

The object was to mingle around and find the lady who had a nut that would fit your bolt.

HAHA! Holy moly! I have never heard of such a thing! So was the lady who matched your bolt cute?

I am not that keen on speed dating...I guess it could be "hook up" dating. I mean you have 10 minutes or whatever to look at the people and ask them life defining questions? I don't think so!

I would think it was very robotic...of course I could see myself going "Hi! What did you eat for breakfast? Do you like swimming in a lake?" and being silly, asking random qs!

But if CG is doing it, heck, maybe I would based on her report!

[newmama]

So guess who just sent me a text? YEPPERS...zoobrew!
I went upstairs to change into my workout clothes and was thinking of him, actually...just thinking about my dream which I will explain in a minute. I checked my phone and

"Hi Ms. Newmama. Been on any hot dates lately? ;)"

So I replied
"Well none since you, zoobrew! I told you!;) "

hope that was flirty/clever enough!

It has been 20 minutes now since I replied...and nothing from him! What a tease!

So this was my dream LAST NIGHT:

I sent zoobrew a text saying "just so you know, I never went out with that guy again or anyone else..." and then zoobrew called me. He said he was wondering but didn't want to ask and that he wasn't sure if I was going to just try to get out there and sow my oats or if I really was "into" him!

And that is all I remember! weird coincidence.

Back to real life:

So now I just wait for zoobrew to say something, right?

[courageous wife]

So now I just wait for zoobrew to say something, right?

Yes!

Me thinks that you had a little lingering effect on Mr. I Don't Know What I Want or whatever his reason was!

Let him pursue!

[newmama]

Thanks CW! I listened...and he replied

"You funny. I meant...you know what I meant lol!"

I replied
"Do I? I haven't been out with that dude or anyone else. Why do you ask, hmmm?;)"

And he said:
"just curious. Mind If I call you tonight after 8:30?"

And I said
"sure...but can we make it after 9? I am seeing a movie (not a date, lol!)"

so we will be chatting later! The reason why I told him I didn't have a date was because my gut told me to.

weeeeee! calm cool collected. calm cool collected. lol!

[CityGirl]

I never did speed dating NM! I have heard of it but have never done it!

[newmama]

OOPS! Sorry Gabbysmom! I got you mixed up! Ok am waiting for zoobrew to call and I am NERVOUS!

I just didn't know for sure if I would hear from him after my STUPID foolish texting...

One of my greatest joys throughout such a horrible life changing experience is finding out more about me and what I like.

I can relate...although I was 28 when I met stbxh, I was only 70% developed if that makes sense! When I went out with Rugby, he asked me what my favorite song and movie were...I couldn't answer! Now partly that is because I have always had a hard time choosing ONE thing...since I was a kid...but the other is because I forgot my individual likes and dislikes.

As for friends, I totally agree! Like I said before, this dating thing over the past few weeks was accidental but I am going to have a fling with zoobrew if he is interested and retreat, make more friends, etc. I realize it sounds very sleazy to admit that I want a fling, but so what...I know I am a decent person who is capable of a mature, committed relationship and that is ultimately what I want in the FUTURE. But am not ready for that now!

Ok the movie "Grownups" was very Adam Sandler funny- and he cracks me up!! It is the little kid in me or something! If you don't like Adam Sandler's movies, you won't like this one, but David Spade, Adam Sandler, and Kevin James were really hilarious and I was surprised that Selma Hayak could hold her own with that crew. Chris Rock usually cracks me up, but he is good about joking around intelligent, political topics and didn't shine as much in this goofy, slapstick kind of movie.

sheesh, my heart is pounding! hee hee!

[Reincarnated]

I get you about the fling - just be careful. If I've learned anything about these foolish things we call "emotions," is that they are not always rational or controllable. The heart can be a pretty dopey thing. It is very easy to get swept up and get hurt.

I think I hit my fling at just the right time - still too enmeshed to be capable of falling in love with someone else, but detached enough to not freak out over someone else seeing me naked. It helped that I chose someone who was SO completely NOT R material, but I found physically attractive to me....and I was lucky in that he was "talented," even more-so than my ex in some areas (which surprised me). We had NOTHING to talk about, really. And didn't need to. It lasted about 3 months on a very irregular schedule, when he conveniently moved cross-country. I had fun, and came away realizing that I wasn't a troll, and that there could be a future R out there for me, when I was ready. What's that song - "I used him and she used me and neither one cared; we were getting our share."

Like we said back in college, "Double-up and Pull-out!" Stay safe.

[Reincarnated]

That all being said, sticking to your morals, building your support base and circle of same-sex friends, exploring hobbies and interests and learning more about yourself, GAL activities, reading, self-realization, etc., is probably a healthier and safer way to go.

Your heart should not be fluttering over a fling.

[courageous wife]

NM

I want to see Grown Ups! I have celebrity crushes on Sandler and James! It looks good!

[newmama]

I think I hit my fling at just the right time - still too enmeshed to be capable of falling in love with someone else, but detached enough to not freak out over someone else seeing me naked. It helped that I chose someone who was SO completely NOT R material, but I found physically attractive to me....and I was lucky in that he was "talented,"

YES- this is where I think I am--not capable of falling in love with someone else but ready for someone to see me naked- ok that sounded bad! NOT JUST ANYONE lol!

Thank you, Donna, for sharing your story because I felt kind of "exposed" revealing my thoughts about the fling. I just KNOW that someone else (or many) have been in the same place where I am so I figured I might as well say it.

Now...about my heart fluttering...I meant PHYSICALLY not emotionally! My heart was pounding due to being nervous.

I have talked to him PART 1- he is with his kids( they were not in the same room!)and was telling me (summarized) about why he started thinking about how he should resolve things with his exG. That he had a great time on both of our dates but her family called him the next day and that her mom said she has always had these anger issues. I still can't tell what he "wants" so to speak...he said he promised his kids a night walk so he was going to do that and then call me back later.

BUT he did want to know about my date and I didn't share tooo much (I AM smarter than I probably come across on here, lol!) but I said that I know it was was rude to text him while I was on a date with someone else. I explained that it was impulsive and induced by alcohol yet I meant what I said. He said that he knew from our conversations and dates that I wasn't a rude person and he found the texts amusing so he didn't think less of me at all. PHEW!

Well we will be talking more here in a few minutes...but he did say he thinks internet dating is for "hooking up" and that you should meet people face to face.

Yeah. Well I will be debating that with him. Blind dates from people you know VS. internet dating with profiles to scan...I had one successful blind date. I think the odds are the same!