My current sitch is living in the same house with H but preparing for moving me and the kids out... hopefully within the next couple of weeks.
First of all ((((hugs))) You know me by other names I can't put here, but I'm familiar with your sitch. And I have to say you've given it your all. You can now go in (relative) peace, knowing you fought for your M and - like you said- he's just not healthy to be married to at this time. I am in the same boat as you logistically- getting ready to move, as I have to be the one to move out. It's heartwrenching that we have to do that when we didn't want this to begin with, but as a friend told me, at least it's (somewhat) on our terms.
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H had a bit of an emotional meltdown last night.... going on about how it is "killing" him to think of me and the kids moving out and living with my parents.... while at the same time admitting he had lied to me about this past weekend and that he had seen OW! (He swears they are just "friends" now and only hung out together with a group of people. Whatever! )Sheesh!
That is really sad. I am happy to give you the # to 1-800-WAAAAHHH that flowmom gave me for my H. The nerve of them complaining to us! I will never understand that. And I'm glad you're getting out of the house -- especially if he STILL can't even be honest with himself or you about what's going on.
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I am realizing more and more every day that he is just not in a healthy place and not healthy to be married to. He needs to figure himself out, and without me to lean on for the first time in 20 years.
I am grieving. But I know what I need to do for me and the kids. And I am doing it.
I just wish I had a time machine to speed things up...
If you find that machine, let me know. You are a strong woman and I know you'll be fine- and you're taking great care of your kids, so kudos to you. I hope you're taking care of yourself, too.
Well, I am all caught up. As usual your strength and class show through in your posts and attitude. Gotta say that your H is losing one hell of a woman.
I'll pop in and check on you now I know where you are. Did you say unwelcome house guest? LOL. I don't plan to post on my thread anytime soon but I still check on my peeps . I am taking some time to enjoy my life again and to give myself some mental space.
Nikita ~ drop me a line in the alt so I remember who you are! Thanks for your comments and support.
Kara... Thank you for your kind words! You are always a most welcome guest my friend! I am sad you won't be posting for awhile. I have always anxiously awaiting each next chapter.... But, I believe you are doing fabulously because that is who you are. You have been an inspiration to me.
No real update. Meeting with a L today. I am prepped, ready and wanting to move forward.
My H's behavior this past weekend created a turning point for me I think. It was just so unbelievably selfish and pathetic. I had been really grieving prior to that, and still have my sad moments. But, now... I almost feel repulsed when I look at him. Hard to imagine.... this man I loved so deeply and was so attracted to for over twenty years. And now, .... well, ugh!
Hard to imagine.... this man I loved so deeply and was so attracted to for over twenty years. And now, .... well, ugh!
This is the feeling that catapults you out of the grief and mourning phase. You get to this phase when you are ready to see and accept what's in front of you and not what you thought you had in front of you.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
This is the feeling that catapults you out of the grief and mourning phase. You get to this phase when you are ready to see and accept what's in front of you and not what you thought you had in front of you.
I hope that's true Romeo... I can see that is what is happening.
We had a very calm and productive conversation about finances last night. It is upsetting that NOW he is willing to talk with me about this when I have been desperate for his help for over a year and he absolutely REFUSED to even discuss it. Our financial sitch has been on my shoulders alone while he carried on his A etc. Unbelieveable.
Anyway, now he is being oh so agreeable and helpful. Whatever. Each day that passes I am losing more and more respect for him and am looking more and more forward to being free from him.
This morning I woke up and I actually felt.... relief, I guess is the best way to put it. As my eyes are being more and more opened to his true character and the degree of selfishness by which he functions, I am more and more relieved to not have to deal with that anymore.
I am starting to realize I rationalized a lot of very unacceptable behaviors because I loved him and our family so much.
Yup. Relief. That is the best word to describe what I am feeling.
CG... thank you for your kind words! Your strength has been a huge inspiration to me!
I do have the most amazing friends here and in RL. I am a blessed woman. And, today I am remembering that life is truly a blessing... each day, no matter what is happening in your life. It is still a gift that I am choosing to embrace.
Today I am leaving to go camping at a lack with my sister in law!!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... two women on their own with a camper and a few bottles of wine...... I have a feeling it will be a great weekend. And much needed for me.
The nerve of them complaining to us! I will never understand that. And I'm glad you're getting out of the house -- especially if he STILL can't even be honest with himself or you about what's going on. 
. I am taking some time to enjoy my life again and to give myself some mental space.
I have always anxiously awaiting each next chapter.... 
But, I believe you are doing fabulously because that is who you are. You have been an inspiration to me. 
Obviously I am camping at a LAKE this weekend! LOL