When I started my piecing thread in December, I did not think I would end up here.
But, here I am.
I was known as Rockedworld in newcomers.... when my world was rocked by my H's infidelity and lies and my world was blown apart. With the help of the great people here, I found strength within myself to take a stand and bust the A.
My H ended the A and we started piecing. In piecing, I was known as Ruledworld.... as I was taking charge of ruling my own life. It went well at first, there were many positive signs of true remorse and coming out of the fog.
Over time, my H became more resistent to working on the M and started to completely refuse MC. He started to talk more and more about wanting to "resolve unresolved issues" re: the A. As I maintained my stand of no contact and the boundaries I needed, he detached more and more.
And, you guessed it.... resumed contact in mid June.
I discovered and confronted this the end of June.
My H has refused to cut off contact again, even though he swears to this day that they have not resumed a R.
He has also refused MC and announced to me that he is "done".
So, here I am.
The kids have been told.
The kids and I are moving by the end of August. This is by my choice. We currently live in a small town that is a 40 min. commute to where I work. I can't afford that commute nor the big house as a single parent. The kids and I are moving in with my parents closer to where I work until we can get on our feet financially. My H will remain in the home to fix it up and sell it.
Part of me is still in shock that I am here. I thought we would make it.
Another part of me is grieving deeply.
Another part of me is feeling stronger than I ever have in my life.
Another part of me is scared out of my mind.
And, another part of me is focusing on making my life what I choose for it to be and being excited for the future.
I am in charge of my life and I have grown and changed and learned so much in this process.
I have made friends through this forum that I am so grateful for and will treasure always.
I have a lot of challenges before me, but I have the best support system and an inner strength that will get me through. And I have faith.
I've been thinking about you and your kids, praying you all were staying strong. Glad to see your new thread...keep us posted so you can get support here.
Hey Rocked! Its as good as you want it to be. But the days of sacrifice are at an end. Take this time to surround yourself those who love you. And those you love. You know now what negative love truly means. Never accept it or sacrifice yourself for it ever again.
Love is freely given. Freely accepted. Anything less is not worth it.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Hey KR, sorry to see you here but you're in good company!
I like your attitude!
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
I too am so sorry you are here. You remain an inspiration to me and many others. You deserve better and you know it. Thanks a ton for all your help in my journey that continues.
I am amazed at what you have been able to offer me along the way while you dealt with this crap and I just want to post that here so that everyone else can read it and know what a strong, courageous and incredible person/friend you are.
If anyone can come out this better...it is you. ((RK))
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
Just so you know...I didn't think you'd end up here! I followed you from the minute I started on here and if anyone deserved to bust a D, it was you! Only you know how much you can take...
I recognize a lot of names from when I first came on here over here in surviving....I may join you one of these days but for now am still standing for my M over in MLC! D was filed the end of February and H hasn't done anything to push it thru...not saying he won't at some point but seems to have lost the steam he had in the beginning!
Just wanted you to know that you are still one of my heroes here and wish you all the best!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Well you know my four penneth! No one can say that you didnt try hard enough and harder still in my opinion!
Like GW said not only do you work your way through your own day to day worries, but are still there for others with a hug and :-)
Take care my good friend, Im off on hols now so will be popping in and out althoug you know where to find me on the alt if you ever need to bend an ear (())
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Thanks so much for all the support, friendship and encouragement!
I have met the most amazing people through this...I am sure many of us feel the same way about each other.
My current sitch is living in the same house with H but preparing for moving me and the kids out... hopefully within the next couple of weeks.
H had a bit of an emotional meltdown last night.... going on about how it is "killing" him to think of me and the kids moving out and living with my parents.... while at the same time admitting he had lied to me about this past weekend and that he had seen OW! (He swears they are just "friends" now and only hung out together with a group of people. Whatever! )Sheesh!
I am realizing more and more every day that he is just not in a healthy place and not healthy to be married to. He needs to figure himself out, and without me to lean on for the first time in 20 years.
I am grieving. But I know what I need to do for me and the kids. And I am doing it.
I just wish I had a time machine to speed things up...
