I think it's OK to let go

[TimeHeals]

Journaling:

STBXW and I spoke 2 times on phone since Monday.

She is having second thoughts about the divorce. We're 2 weeks from her divorce being final.

Not sure what to think about this.

Going to a cousin's wedding in Louisville this weekend with my Mom and my two dogs in tow.

Told her we could talk when I return. We spoke a long time last night (too long--5 hours).

[FaithnAK]

Hello TimeHeals. I don't have any advice for you and I'm in no position to give advice.

However, maybe I'm being optimistic, but at least she has second thoughts! Maybe, keep doing whatever you are doing to get these "thoughts" Idk. (sell me some magic too plz :D) But man I'm going to include you in my prayer and if you don't want a prayer, then I'll just think hope for you.

[whiskey.tango]

What's your gut telling you?

This weekend away will help. Go, have fun and see how you feel when you get back.

[DanF]

Wow TH. I guess this is how it goes. When you are finally ready to move on, they change their minds. I guess that is really the key. Letting go of the rope. I am still a newbie here, but search your feelings. What do you REALLY want? If you want a chance at reconciliation, maybe this is it. A lot of the vets have actually gotten divorced and then still got back together. The ball is in your court. However, even if you do want it, don't be quick to jump at it. Make her pursue you for a while. At least that is what I learned here. Don't go too fast or she will get cold feet.

I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but sometimes we need a reminder.

Hang tough. Enjoy your weekend and think hard about what you really want. If you have really let go, maybe that is best, but only you can say.

Good luck and my thoughts are with you...

[change44]

TimeHeals,

I've been reading up on your situation. That's some major news regarding your wife's second thoughts. Please keep us updated. Sending positive thoughts your way. Keep praying for your heart to be open to God's will in your life.

Take care, ap10

[WalkingMan]

Be careful.

[TimeHeals]

Be careful.

Yeah, I think that's a foregone conclusion: I have to protect me, my home, and so on from this person until I know otherwise.

[TimeHeals]

Journaling: Met STBXW for ice cream last night. Less than one week to approaching D-day.

She wants to see about delaying D if it costs no money to do so. Either way she wants to see if we can start over slow and start dating.


Again, not sure what future brings, not sure if I can trust this, not sure where I am headed in all of this.

[FindingMyVoice]

Either way she wants to see if we can start over slow and start dating.

Hey Time,
Did she give you an explanation for what why she's had a change of heart? If so, what did you think of it - was it sincere and showing that she'd done some soul-searching?

Regarding trust, if indeed you think you could trust her again, what do you need from her - behaviours, communication etc - in order to feel that trust? No need to answer if you don't want; just thought I'd pose the questions for your consideration. Take care.

[TimeHeals]

Journaling:

Several emails from STBXW. She wants to see if things might work out for "us", she is unsure if I can really ever "forgive" her.

The thing that comes through, however, the most IMO is that she is sorry (she says so), but it's mostly that she's feeling sorry for herself for having got herself into the mess she got herself into.

I will state clearly that prior to the EA, I was not blameless for the state of our M, but I have owned my actions and choices.

How likely is it that she will ever fully own her part? I guess that's what I want to see first to know that change is really possible for her.