i've been reading other posts and the advice in general usually says a man needs to show emotional strength in a time of crisis.
my h walked away but couldn't plan his move by himself. he flew his mother out to help him (he barely lifted finger) and he also hired packers to pack for him.
i packed on my own and hired my own movers. i arranged it on my own.
when h dropped the d-bomb, he said one of our differences was that he felt that he was "dragging me through his life". i guess he was saying that i was boring.
well, look at us now. h comes home after work, calls mom and dad to tell them how his day went, and then sits there and watches tv. he's let himself go. he hasn't been to squash for over a three weeks now. and no, not because of OW. my intel says no. he stays in his apartment all weekend and doesn't have a life. the interior of his car is also a mess too - costco coupons, costco receipts, gas receipts, bank receipts, liquor store receipts, crumpled up saran wrap from his mom's baking, granola bar wrappers.
you know how they say the lbs is better off? hell ya!
i feel like i've done more. i'm looking forward to doing more in the next few months. i've signed up for a leadership course for my professional development.
gucci, pdt - could you give me some pointers on what makes a woman attractive to any man? there's a lot of advice about what makes a man attractive or unattractive. but what about for a woman?
gucci, pdt - could you give me some pointers on what makes a woman attractive to any man? there's a lot of advice about what makes a man attractive or unattractive. but what about for a woman?
We had a thread a short while ago that was on that topic..
For me.. It is LOOKS first and foremost.... "There is something about her"............When I can't put my finger on it, but just know that I know that I know that she is sexy and has me intrigued.
If I don't like the way they first look then she is toast. Nothing she can do will ever make me love her UNLESS she is fat or overweight and is still my type in the looks dept, but loses the weight.
I am NOT attracted to b*tchy women. Don't know where you women get that idea, but it is NOT true in my case or in too many of the men I have known in life. HOWEVER, IF the b*tchy woman IS also a very hot good looking woman, THEN she has a chance. It is NOT her b*tchy attitude that attracts me, but her LOOKS.. Looks can override the attitude early on in a relationship..
I also like a woman who laughs at my jokes, who is a happy person, who is neat and clean and dresses nicely. Smells good on a date.
If I don't like the way they first look then she is toast. Nothing she can do will ever make me love her UNLESS she is fat or overweight and is still my type in the looks dept, but loses the weight.
can you expand a bit? i know looks are critical. but almost everything can be changed nowadays - not just the fat. hair can be coloured, a nose can be altered, teeth can be whitened, the girls can be enhanced, etc.
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I am NOT attracted to b*tchy women. Don't know where you women get that idea, but it is NOT true in my case or in too many of the men I have known in life.
define b*tchy. some people think strong and independent .. the "i don't need you to open the door for me, i can open the door myself thank you very much" attitude is b*tchy as opposed to independent.
i think i have the most difficulty adjusting this part. what i think of as independent, may be coming across as b*tchy.
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HOWEVER, IF the b*tchy woman IS also a very hot good looking woman, THEN she has a chance. It is NOT her b*tchy attitude that attracts me, but her LOOKS.. Looks can override the attitude early on in a relationship..
yes, i believe it. one night stand material. not marriage/long-term material. looks can only do so much to hold your attention. sooner or later, you have to talk to the person.
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I also like a woman who laughs at my jokes, who is a happy person, who is neat and clean and dresses nicely. Smells good on a date.
check - on all fronts. scent is pretty subjective. but i hear you on the smells good on a date. for me, smells good, period is a must - just good hygiene.
It's all about the looks-to-aggravation ratio, LOL. If she's drop-dead gorgeous, we put up with a lot more than if they're not.
LOL. i've never heard that before but i get it.
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-- Purpose; she has her own passions and interests outside of me, and they are causes that I can admire.
i think this is tough sometimes ...
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-- Is into me. Genuinely asks about my work, my family, my passions, my interests.
check.
the reason why i ask is .. i've been doing a lot of work on myself. i am preparing for life with or without h. i want to put my best person forward. but at the same time, i have expectations too.
i'm a good dresser. i wear the 4" pumps. i do the makeup, perfume, skin care thing. i exercise. i have worked on myself to get into shape, found hobbies/interests that i enjoy, i do whatever it takes to take care of myself financially. i have a good head on my shoulders.
i have expectations of the person i want to be with as well. i expect the other person to keep up or be similar (not the heels!). is that considered to be 'b*tchy'?
If I could add some good advice I was once given be a co-worker.
One day at lunch a very attractive woman, who we both knew was D, came into the shop.
He goes to me: "Man, look at that, she's so hot" and I said "oh yeah"
He then says "Even though she totally hot, some guy out there got tired of f**king her"
So just because your hot, if that's all you have the offer that's all you'll be to someone.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
So just because your hot, if that's all you have the offer that's all you'll be to someone.
agreed.
my original question was what makes a woman attractive? didn't necessarily mean only from a physical standpoint. but the guys made a point to me that men are visual creatures. but let's look at long term .. after the looks fade.
that's why post after post, i ask what is defined as 'b*tchy'? i mean, looks are very subjective .. what you think is hot, may not be hot to someone else. what you think is a great scent, may not be for someone else.
i take care of myself for me. i want to put my best person forward. not just in my appearance, but in attitude.
as i have said, you can change almost anything in the looks department. but who you are as a person, core values .. don't change.
OK, so after the appearance thing here's what attracts me to a W.
here's ten 1) not worrying about what other people think about her 2) she knows where she's come from and knows where she would to be. 3) she accepts me for who I am. 4) doesn't get upset when things goes wrong. How she responds to it is important. 5)knows how to have fun with or with out me, needs her cirle of friends too. 6) can interact with my friends and not just sit there asking when are we leaving. 7) Honest and trust worthy, I want her to feel secure enough that when I go out, even though OW will be attracted to me, she has nothing to worry about. I expect the same in return. 8) Has a strong family values that won't be compromised. 9)Has a positive outlook on life and daily life. 10)is active, likes the outdoors and physical activities together
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
would it be unfair if the person expected the same of you?
let's say a person is all of these things and a bowl of ice cream. does it put the pressure on the other person to do/be the same?
when you want these things in a person, it puts pressure on you to hold yourself to that calibre. and in the end, nobody will approach you .. thinking that you are not in their league. you end up lonely anyway.
not saying that i am all that and a bowl of ice cream. i'm still working on me.
