his l has stated that "both parties are able to support themselves so spousal support is not necessary."
STANDARD OPENING-ROUND GAMBIT. See Coach's advice, above. It's the equivalent of a criminal attorney's opening salvo being to ask the judge to dismiss the case outright. "It's worth a shot," so to speak. It's NOT to be considered a serious offer.
there is no paper trail on this. his father simply logged on with his son's password and id. with their family, there is no paper trail. it's all done verbally. i do not know his password or id.
then your L takes a depositon from FIL under oath, the online acct can be brought up to see who signed on (what USERID) and when. Your H pc and work PC records can be subpoenaed.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
You don't understand how the game is played. Now you counter. The more you both haggle the more the attorneys are involved (in case you didn't know they get paid by the hour not the case) and the longer it goes on. To reach the middle they start on the edge.
yes, i understand that is how the game is played. every minute i speak to the l costs me money for a d i never asked for. my counter is: i own the jewellery, it is non-negotiable. skip mediation, go straight to court. i have given up too much of the household goods because i had faith in my l.
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learn the rules of this game, it's a legal negotiation. When emotions get involved is when it gets stupid. You are no where near detached enough. Your anger is still a hindrance to you. Work on it.
i have learned the rules and the law. which is why this is very stupid. his l is really the one who is holding everything up. i submitted everything i had, including proof. his financial statement came with almost no proof for any of his claims. so that means WE have to send a formal note asking for proof on his claims. AND his stupid l allowed things like jewellery and rings to be included on his statement when CLEARLY the law says those belong to me. his l is obvious seeing a guy acting on emotion and is taking advantage of his client.
the first thing my l said to me was to stop thinking with the heart, and starting thinking with the brain.
the ridiculous claims that h has made is making me lose faith in the system. i held back, bit my tongue, and gave up stuff because i figure the system would protect me. i don't know if i can trust the system any more.
then your L takes a depositon from FIL under oath, the online acct can be brought up to see who signed on (what USERID) and when. Your H pc and work PC records can be subpoenaed.
it may have to come to this. i know that anything gains made are to be divided equally, but also any debts incurred.
but i wasn't responsible for this "debt".
it's funny how his father kept insisting that i pay for any losses he made, the wedding costs he incurred, and any gifts they gave to us during m.
Then find the evidence to prove it. You fight legal arguments with facts.
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can you say 'money hungry'?
why you holding onto this? you have had it since day one here. "Holding a grudge is like drinking poisin and expecting the other person to die." Your anger is of the passive-agressive kind, it's OK to be angry but it's doesn't look healthy from my POV.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Anything GIFTED to you pre marriage is yours unless a pre nup states otherwise. In *some* cases if the engagement ring was a family heirloom it may have to be returned but that paperwork was long in place.
Who gives a rats ass what his attny says? I can support myself just fine as well but I still get two checks per month
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
he wanted this to be quick. yet, it seems like my l is prepared with all of my stuff and his l is not sending over complete information. the law does say that pre-marriage stuff is excluded and belongs to me. this is a basic part of divorce law. my l knew that. his l should have known that but kept all of this stuff on with no evidence and no proof. all this back and forth, it's just costing both sides a lot of money. i'm okay if he wants out but how is helping us?
the line in the draft statement that put me over the edge was that if i were to include the rings on my statement, it would increase my net worth and then i would have to pay h 10x more than what i owe him without the rings on my statement. why is this even a consideration when initially, they told me the jewellery was not part of the agreement. gifts given to me were mine.
a big part of my frustration is that i don't know what to believe or who to believe anymore. one day a gift is mine. the next day, i may have to pay for what was a 'gift' to me. i am afraid because now i do feel alone. who do i trust?
the "money hungry" statement is really just my way of trying to stop a game i don't want to play because i am afraid of the next wave of emotional toll it will take on me. it's like saying "stop, the target you want is not me. it's the other guy." and hoping that this would stop what i fear which is a legal fight. divert his attention to something else but i can't avoid it.
it is going down a cheeseless tunnel because no matter how many times i say it, it doesn't change a thing.
