LSG, glad you are feeling UP! And you are right: sometimes we all just need to vent!
Can your library get the books for you? I know ours can get them from another location within their system if they do not have something. Just a thought. There are other books as well: My favorite is Love Must be Tough by James Dobson. Others on these boards have recommended it as well.
Try setting some goals for yourself that are about YOU! Long term goals - short term goals...for your health, spirituality, family/friends relationships, your mental/physical health, your work life..and yes, even your love life. Know what you want for a healthy relationship 5 years from now and be determined to have that for yourself, whether with W or someone else! Think of how YOU want to be in 5 years and then make intermediate goals, then more specific ones: things you can do now to bring about those things for yourself.
These past few days I seem to feel nothing for STBXW. I have more contempt for her than love.
She said she hopes I find someone else that will make me happy. Utter nonsense to me!
She says that the A just happened, and it is my fault that I walked out on one of the counseling sessions when she told me that ILYBINILWY. I did continue to go after that. She places all the blame on me for everything. She said never intended to divorce me. Okay, I have to wonder what she did intend.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
I checked out every book on infidelity, and they have limited selection in the system at my local library at any of the branches.
My biggest goal is a job. I do have an interview next week. It is my fourth or fifth interview at this company, and the recruiter says I will get one soon. He will not stop helping me until I do. I have to not give up.
I have made very many goals, but the one for a love life in anytime in the near future. I am not able to even consider one at the moment in time. There is a woman that does flirt with me at the supermarket I go to, but I do not respond because I am still technically married, and I honor that to my W even if she does not to me. I also am not even close to being ready for another relationship.
My biggest goal is to my kids and making sure they are okay!!!
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
These past few days I seem to feel nothing for STBXW. I have more contempt for her than love.
She said she hopes I find someone else that will make me happy. Utter nonsense to me!
She says that the A just happened, and it is my fault that I walked out on one of the counseling sessions when she told me that ILYBINILWY. I did continue to go after that. She places all the blame on me for everything. She said never intended to divorce me. Okay, I have to wonder what she did intend.
They ALWAYS place the blame on the LBS. Believe me, I know!
As for intent - well, it's more of an immature reaction to impulses than any kind of real intention that involves the brain!
Glad you are making goals for yourself! As for the love life, it doesn't have to be anything you're thinking of for the near future. I'm just saying to picture what a good, healthy relationship is to you - what that would look like - and having it down the road. Knowing what that is for yourself, and knowing you DESERVE that helps you be strong in not accepting bad behavior from your W.
Honestly, it would be with my W and family intact. I do not think that is going to happen, but it is a good loving relationship with love for each other and the kids.
This is my dream and most everyones here. I think that is why most of our here. I know we need to make ourself better, but truthfully, I want the silver bullet that will make everything better, and there is no such thing for marriages.
I will still hope, but it is reaching the point where I do not see us making it. It is never too late I believe!!!
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
W told me last night that she is having a sleep with a girlfriend of hers next Friday, and she will be going with her in the morning to breakfast. She said the Friday after that that she is having another get together for a going away party. I don't know what to believe whether this is true or not. I said "okay."
Then I found on her cell phone a TM from a former co-worker that is broke up from his girlfriend. He asked her through her facebook account to dinner. Could this be OM2.
I don't know what to think of this all.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
