She has mentioned a few times that reconcillation after our dvorce is not out of the question.
TRANSLATION: "Play nice legally, and don't fight me on what I want, and MAYBE I'll consider getting back together with you at some point in the future."
No one's saying to be "hurtful" or "ugly," Resilient. What we ARE saying is, PROTECT YOUR INTERESTS.
Divorce, sadly, is a BUSINESS TRANSACTION. Look out for you kids first, yourself second, and your wife third -- in that order.
Stay civil and courteous, and let the lawyers handle the details.
I think she is becomming increasingley desperate and agitated. She called this morning and offered to move to a apartment. My daughter would no doubt go with her. Myself and my son would stay in the house and we would have to sell it in five years. I accepted that. Then she called back later and tried to modify the proposal. I said no. PDT your absolutly right she is trying to get me to play nice but unfortunitly for her I do have to protect my intrests and my kids. She currently hates my guts!
M-47, W-37 2 kids D-16 S-13 M-16 ILYBINILWU- March 2010. Still living together
Maybe "hates my guts" is one of the stages. I think its a denial thing. It was mentioned that anger allows someone to feel empowered, where they would feel guilt or shame instead. We all know with anger people tear things up.
Maybe "hates my guts" is one of the stages. I think its a denial thing. It was mentioned that anger allows someone to feel empowered, where they would feel guilt or shame instead. We all know with anger people tear things up.
Yep. All the more reason to use the standard of "What is The Right Thing to Do in This Situation?" instead of "Will This Make Her Angry? How will her Anger Make ME Feel??"
If they're going to hate you anyway, you may as well do THE RIGHT THING!
I think her actions behind those last TM's is the WAW's way of wanting to part on friendly terms. She doesn't want to be M to you, but she would still like to have you as a friend. You know, like when she needs a plumber or have something else done for her? This is typical.
Yep.
Puppy
If mine is going to put me to the single life, and she needs some pipe, I'm not sure I wouldn't mind being either the candidate or the prime candidate for that.
You have kids. Take the kids out to do stuff, attend kids' events and such w/o W.
If you have a dog, start walking that danged dog whenever you can.
Go shopping for stuff for Res, plan a weekend fishing trip with your son if you can. Camping with both kids?
That would be great. This weekend, how would you kids like to go camping?
Got camping gear? If not, you will be out late shopping tonight.
Basically, my advice is think like a single dad. If you can take time off, get out of town with your kids. Camping? Amusement parks? Plan a trip/vacation for just you and the kids. Wife is not invited.
If W asks why you are doing this, just say you want to spend some quality time with your kids. If she asks why you didn't invite her, just say you didn't think it would be right all things considered.
From here in in, just think of this as training time to be the best single dad ever. Make time for yourself too. Get a workout routine, hobby, etc.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 07/01/1002:58 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Thats kinda what I've been doing. Tomorrow night is the big fireworks display in our city and I was lucky to win 4 tickets through my Fire Dept union to to be at the Fire hall to watch the display. The were giving out 75 sets of four tickets each because thats the max that can fit on the union hall grounds. I'm taking my son and two of his friends. Turns out she will be going with her just divorced friend and her kids. W was kind of bent out of shape when i did not invite her ever though the odds of her saying yes would be about zero.
M-47, W-37 2 kids D-16 S-13 M-16 ILYBINILWU- March 2010. Still living together
