Jeff, I was happy to read your update. You deserve some fun.
On the other hand, maybe it is me, but I think that no-sex thing is ridiculous. I mean, come on, you are both old enough to know what you are doing and take the responsibility for you own choices. Nobody forces anything, right? Why, in nowdays, having sex with a single someone you like and potentially will care about (or already do) is such a difficult decision? I dont like playing games. I guess men do like games though...
Jeff, all I can say is way to go. You deserve to have some sex - ur - fun. Sorry, you know where my brain is. Maybe she needs a few more questions about "the plan."
Why is this plan so important? What does she think she will miss if she alters the plan? Is she worried about how you will react to having sex? Or is she worried how she will react?
Have fun with the boys!
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Sorry for the lack of hugs... I am using my phone. I think she its worried about how she will react and projecting it on me. She almost said as much. out would have happened Friday despite the plan if there had been time. I think the plan is out the window when I am there.
I think she must have read a lot of self help books and she is wary of a rebound. She created this "plan" to help her get through everything. Sadly plan and real life rarely work hand in hand. She must like you too, hoping that she won't be your rebound. Maybe you should tell her that in your book a rebound relationship = a band aid. You have worked really hard on yourself and you aren't in need of a ban aid.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Have fun on your rafting trip! Take pictures and keep that camera dry.
When you get back, I hope your scoreless streak gets broken soon. You might even be purposely walked in for a run. I am now at 12 months and stuck in a rundown between 1st and 2nd base. The other team is well aware that I was trying to steal base(s).
The kids and I had a total blast. They really enjoys Knott's Berry Farm, lots of coaster riding and general fun. It was a bit cool and cloudy so we never hit the water park. We did go to Medieval Times, as we did last year, the two of them thought it was great again. We drove up to the campground on the river, they didn't know where we were going until they saw the signs on the campground. We had two great days on the river... the first day the raft in from of us flipped (in Satan's Cesspool!), and we picked up three of the "survivors". OK, they all survived, but we picked up three, including a six year old girl! The second day we lost our guide going through the Troublemaker! We floated into an eddy, so it was ok. We have some pics taken from the shore, so we can remember it!
We drove home Friday afternoon and Saturday (the 3rd). Monday I had another date, we had a nice lunch, but then she got a call that her brother was in a hotel room in Phoenix, drunk and threatening to kill himself. She was worried, so I just spent the afternoon with her, sitting on the sofa, holding her.
She was still keeping to the "plan", but I figured it was just a matter of time. Our next date was golfing the next weekend, it was fun, but she was having lunch with her mom and a couple of friends so we couldn't hang out long much after. It was really hot, and we had some crushed ice with water, she would take a mouthful and then pass me some ice... a little distracting for the golf!
Then we met last Thursday for dinner and a movie. When I got to the table, she didn't move towards me for a hug or anything, I knew something was amiss. I sat down, and said, "You look somber, is something wrong?" She said there was... that in working her plan she had decided she had to take a different path, but she really wanted to be my friend. She was pretty much crying. She said he wasn't "better", just "different". I did tell her that half of me hoped he was great, and half hoped that he would turn out to be a jerk. She said I could leave, but I didn't I stayed and we ate. While we ate she even got a text from a friend who had figured I would bolt... but she said she didn't think I would. We were going to go to the movie even, but just before we got the tickets she got a call that her dog had escaped from her yard. It had happened the day before, so it wasn't really a surprise. She was even willing to go to the movie the next night, if I wanted to. I thought about it, but the next morning I texted her and said I couldn't see how I could sit next to her for two hours and not kiss her.
We decided later that we will go golfing next Friday morning, she was going to make the tee time at a club she has access to, she can't do it til tomorrow. So tonight I texted her to remind her. We texted back and forth a bit, I told her that half of me still hoped he was a jerk. She said, "I'm sorry to say he isn't. I mean I guess I'm glad...this is weird. But I understand what you mean. We'll see if this friend thing can work. I hope it can." I think she is still conflicted... but that doesn't mean I expect anything, because I don't. I told her that I knew he wouldn't be a jerk, that I hoped he was great. Good old high road!
I'm not second guessing anything I did. I knew she was dating other people, I knew this could happen, even if I didn't expect it. But I will admit to disappointment! I was pretty upset last Friday, I am glad it was a day off work.
OH Jeff, ((()))) similiar thing recently happened to me. No matter, her loss and someone else's gain. I was tempted to retreat back to singledom and over analize, but we are all grown up now so just go with the flow. Your trip with the kids sounded great. Make sure next lady doesn't have a plan, that did sound slightly odd but at least she was honest. I guess this was a practise run for when you meet the "real" rockette. Take care.
(((((naej))))) It is tempting to pull back and analyze... but the only thing that I think conspired against me was timing. The only thing I don't know, and may never know... she was struggling with the idea of being #5, after the kids. I don't really see it that way, but not having any kids I can see how she might. I don't know, but if the other guy has no kids it might have been the tipping point. But I'm not planning on selling them any time soon.
She was totally honest, the whole time, so I can't be upset with her. I even think it is possible she could change her mind, but I am not waiting for that, or expecting it. I'll just cross that bridge if I get to it.
I need to convince myself to initiate some more contacts soon, before it gets too comfortable not to.
