How's things? Well, I've dated a woman a couple times, then she had some drama involving her brother (long story, but in the end he is in some kind of rehab facility, and I think the drama is over).
Our first date had been rescheduled once, and she nearly did again, as she had had a rough day... instead she figured she would beg off after an hour. We met at a nice bar in a resort type hotel at 6, and we left at about 11. I guess her watch broke! The bar was a big room, had sofas, we were sitting on one of those. We decided that it must have been two dates, as neither of us would have kissed on the first date. In the parking lot afterwards I hit a spot on her neck that made her jump, and say something about that being a 12th date spot.
So, we met again a few days later, and managed to eat in only three hours! Saying goodbye in the parking lot she said something about a 6th date kiss.
Here's the puzzling part.... She says (at least on the first date) that she wants to date more than one person because she doesn't want to rush into anything. Which actually makes a lot of sense. But her actions... well, they didn't match up so well with those words!
She also said that she doesn't want to rush into having sex (I said it was at least 4 dates, even though we only met twice...) because once you do that you stop talking, because you are too busy! But then she nearly attacked me in the parking lot.
Small (?) red flag... she's never been married. She's had her own company for years, and it was usually her priority. She was engaged at least once, and has had other boyfriends as well. So, is it a problem? I dunno.
Going for honest here, sex scares that heck out of me. My plan is to be really clear if that comes up. It's way to early for me to commit to something for the long haul. Whatever that means!
In other news, the drama hit a week ago Saturday, we were supposed to go golfing early that morning. When she cancelled, S20 said he'd go. Since then he's gone to the driving range three times, and we golfed together both Saturday and Sunday!
I will have the kids next week, I am thinking of surprising them by going to California and going rafting.
Ha Ha! I'm right there with you Jeff on trying to figure out women - except the prospect of sex part is not scaring me one bit - just waiting for launch codes.
How long until the boy passes by his old man in golf?
Reading your post a lot of it is you trying to read her and what she wants. What do you want? Casual dating, potential relationship etc etc. I would define that and then take it from there as that will shape how you view things. She and her feelings are her responsibility and you and yours are your own.
It sounds like she likes you! I would say on the sex thing, take it slow for both you and her. Enjoy the romance and the build up. Sex is more enjoyable when you know a person well in my opinion and there is more trust there if both of you are anxious about things. Focus on the other things like kissing (a good old fashioned snog is always great!) and move on to other stuff, that way you will build confidence with each other. I didn't really understand what you meant being clear if it comes up though? Clear about what?
I was nervous too the first time I took the plunge with someone new, but I'm so glad I did because it really wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be - in fact it was fun sorry for the tmi Remember, she is probably feeling anxious to.
Hey Kerry! If S20 stays at it, he might beat me by this winter! The only thing that might save me is that I don't think he will have a lot of time to practice this fall. He is starting to hit the ball hard, and now and then it looks like golf. He has the usual beginners slice, so for a while I am safe!
Julia... Yes, what do I want? I think I am worrying over nothing. The last time I was considering having sex with a woman for the first time, it was with the idea of being committed for the long term. And that's not where my head is now. I guess that's what I want to be clear about.
Yes, what do I want? I think I am worrying over nothing. The last time I was considering having sex with a woman for the first time, it was with the idea of being committed for the long term. And that's not where my head is now. I guess that's what I want to be clear about
Jeff, I think as long as you are very clear about what you are looking for, you should do fine. I know how you feel....I am not into having a serious committment right now, and I am not sure when I will be. I am just looking for someone to have some fun with! As far as the whole sex thing, you may need to stop over-thinking it and just jump in!!!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
I was nervous too the first time I took the plunge with someone new, but I'm so glad I did because it really wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be - in fact it was fun sorry for the tmi Remember, she is probably feeling anxious to.
Jeff, as long as both of you are clear that you aren't pledging to any relationship commitment, then do what feels right to you. You are a good guy and I am sure that is evident to whomever you date.
Remember, she is probably feeling anxious to.
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