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inpain Offline OP
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That is a good way of looking at it, thanks. Apparently I'm the abnormal one because I don't want him to work away and be happy!?!?


M-43 H-42
S-11 D-7
T-19 yrs
M-15 yrs
Bombshell 9/17/15
Sep - 11/9/15
Joined: May 2010
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BTW - do you take any medication for your OCD? I have a serious case that I have been on medication for about 10 years now. It helped significantly


M: 39
W: 39
Kids (3): S10; S8; D4
Married 14 years
Togethor: 18 years
Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009
Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10
Current Status: In counseling
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inpain Offline OP
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No I don't. Although now I can see that to some extent I've always had a touch of it even as a child (eg if I lost something I always had to go through my room in a methodical way with a fine tooth comb until I found it) but it only really became a problem during pregnancy and the first few months after. We had problems concieving which I think triggered it because once I was pregnant I became completely terrified something would happen and became completely hygiene obsessed and obsessed with germs and it continued for about a year after while I felt in my head that the baby was "fragile and vulnerable" but I'm fine now except I sterilise my hands with gel if I use a public loo because so many people don't wash their hands. I should have got help for it when it was bad but I was so terrified of germs the GP surgery was my worst nightmare! - all those ill people!

I didn't know you could get medication for it I thought it was all CBT! I'm sorry to hear you have a bad case of it, it is such an awful thing to go through, glad to hear the medication has helped you with yours.

Last edited by inpain; 06/17/10 10:51 PM.

M-43 H-42
S-11 D-7
T-19 yrs
M-15 yrs
Bombshell 9/17/15
Sep - 11/9/15
Joined: May 2010
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Talk to your Psychiatrist about meds. They don't help everyone but have helped me tremenously


M: 39
W: 39
Kids (3): S10; S8; D4
Married 14 years
Togethor: 18 years
Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009
Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10
Current Status: In counseling
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 885
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inpain Offline OP
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I don't have one but will see what my Dr says about it, thanks!


M-43 H-42
S-11 D-7
T-19 yrs
M-15 yrs
Bombshell 9/17/15
Sep - 11/9/15
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 885
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inpain Offline OP
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Ugh. So things have been a little better the past week or so as I basically laid my cards on the table and said how unhappy I was about all the unfinished business from when H was a WAS and that I really didn't feel like fighting for our M anymore (not the DB way I know but right now I'm feeling like I will be a WAS unfortunately). Although I've said all of this before to him I think he must have realised I meant it this time as he was noticeably trying and even took me out for a lovely meal and to see a film. This helped me to feel closer to him a little which was great and even lead to some flirting. How does H react to this??? goes out (no problem with this) and comes home gone midnight despite the flirting and says he didn't think it would matter that he was home that late. This has made me feel like I am nothing to him if after such a long time of nothing because of all the arguing we finally get a little close and he'd rather be out with colleagues than getting closer with me. Totally annoyed and feel like I'm back to square one again. I really don't know how much longer I can keep hanging on to this thread of a relationship.


M-43 H-42
S-11 D-7
T-19 yrs
M-15 yrs
Bombshell 9/17/15
Sep - 11/9/15
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 885
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inpain Offline OP
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does anyone have any thoughts on my situation?? I'm really coming to the end of my tether and am close to leaving with my children because even though I want more than anything for them to live in a happy family unit I just don't see any way of wading through all the @%@%$@ that is my R with my H and I just don't know where to turn.


M-43 H-42
S-11 D-7
T-19 yrs
M-15 yrs
Bombshell 9/17/15
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I am in no way trying to be cold about this but think about it! It is unreasonable to be scared of germs. If germs were so dangerous we'd all be dead! they are everywhere!

I know OCD surpasses all reason but I'm just saying. I just couldn't handle being with someone who has it.


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
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inpain Offline OP
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???? I'm not sure what you mean by this as I do not have the OCD against germs anymore, that was four years ago, I was hoping for some advice about my R sitch. Yes it is unreasonable to be scared of germs, but I was for a time thanks to very poor handling by medical staff about Strep B when pregnant, but that is unfortunately what OCD does and is an illness just like any other illnes, and I have been over it for years now I'm happy to say and hope to never have another experience like it because it was a nightmare!

Last edited by inpain; 07/05/10 11:13 PM.

M-43 H-42
S-11 D-7
T-19 yrs
M-15 yrs
Bombshell 9/17/15
Sep - 11/9/15
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,583
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Offline
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Well I haven't read through all your pages but I have learned one thing. The longer you wait around for your spouse to come around the worse it is...on You.

You are allowing him to break down your self worth. Make a change. Do something different!


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
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