Well apparently OM called OMW right after we ended our call. OMW lost her cool and started to say "I know you two are talking again" ect.. OM claims its ALL BS and someone is starting something on purpose and he thought things were going great, never admitting to talking to her once...
OM calls me. He ask "OIN, whats going on?" I say "what do you mean" he said well my W is hysterical someone is saying something about me and your W still talking. We had no communication since that day. I told him, "I have not spoke with you or anyone for that matter since that day and I too thought it was all settled" he said "well someone is starting something, I know my W has people watching, I am not stupid" and I replied "I don't know what she has going" and then he had to go because his W was walking is what he said...end of call.
What now?
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Tell OMW to post all his recommitment efforts on facebook or something where your wife will see it.
It will help your wife to get over OM if she can see him declaring his love for his wife and buying her gifts...
OM is telling his wife one thing and YOUR wife another thing.. get the lies out in the open on the internet someplace so your wife can see all the lies...
She's doing searches on his name, haev someone post something on the internet with his name in the post indicating he lies and uses women or something... try to keep it factual though... Your wife is doing research, then put the truth on the internet if that's where she's researching... Right now the truth is hidden in his home for only his wife to know...
I just realized an additional benefit to OMW using facebook.
you can minimize your phone calls but keep up to date... If your WIFE brings OMW up and you calling her just tell her you will be trying to just use facebook from this point on to keep up to date with her... That sneaks in an invitation to your wife to check up OMW facebook.. and she WILL... OMW can post all the wonderful things OM is doing and saying on there for your wife to read ... this may very well help wake her up a bit that OM is a liar
Granted, it may backfire too and get your wife daydreaming about him hearing the positive stuff, but i doubt it... I would expect it to more likley annoy her
Again OMW and OM call me and have me on speaker.OM said "I think things are being blown out of proportion, apparently people are taken our "hi" and "bye" as us talking again and I realize now I need to stop even that. I thought that at least was OK." he then said "I have to do this for my marriage and for my W, I have to tell your W we cant even do that anymore, she has to know it all has to stop"
I said..."I hear what you are saying, and I want your marriage to work out, and I am happy things are going great BUT you telling my W something while your W is there does not accomplish much, my W may very well just say 'he is only saying that because is W is there' and not get the point you are trying to make. "
So OM and OMW wants to call back when my W gets home to say this to my W...
Is this going too far or being blown? Last thing I want it to make matter worse for my sitch...
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
I would get YOU out of it... your wife is going to turn YOU into a target if YOU are in that...
The idea I thought was for this to be OMW saying her brother is behind this?
Why are you there? Just step out of it or your wife is gonna blame you... let the call happen, but stay out of it if you can... Or at least in the call emphasize you haven't called for 7 weeks or whatever and that you aren't going to your wife's work or anything... plead innocense to following and watching or she will target you.
If OMW Brother is willing to take the hit let it go that route...
And ya I have heard that "I thought Hello was OK" crap before... All cheaters try that one...
You tell them no contact and they push it and when they get caught they try to squirm out of it by saying its just hello and good bye... which from your reports it is not just hello and good bye anyways... this guy is a real bull$hitter... why are marital interlopers all such sleazeball liars?
OK, so OMW called me after OM left. We agreed NOT to have no call. I advised her to say to OM
"I don't want you to call. We need to trust each other. Just know that I am trying to protect our marriage. Also know that even if I did not want people watching they will anyway and they will still call me because they are looking out for my best interest, they care about me. So I am going to just let it be and allow you to prove to me I can trust you."
OMW said that OM thinks it is one of OM good friends that is reporting back to OMW. OM friend has a "thing" for OMW and sometimes jokes to OMW and OM "I'll take you out to dinner, I'll do that for you." So OM thinks it is his friend who maybe reporting things back.
I plan on telling W I got the call just to keep honesty in our sitch, I get the feeling OM will tell my W anyway so why not let it be me who tells her.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
